Ups and Downs

I've been experiencing a variety of ups and downs the past week or so. The good thing is, it's mostly ups! Let's get onto it shall we...

The Ups:
When I first started personal training this summer one of the first things I had to do was fill out a survey which listed my personal goals. My 3 goals were listed in the following order: Run a 5k without stopping, Feel like an athlete again, Lose some weight.

This week I've seriously attacked my second goal! Back before college I was a pretty incredibly athlete. I was a competitive gymnast from age 4 (when I made my first team) to 14 (until I was so burnt out from the extreme training), played soccer my entire life (including 5 years of varsity), ran winter and spring track for four years in high school, and participated in some random other sports throughout my life like basketball, softball and dance. I was an athlete in every sense of the word. I ran fast, played hard, and picked up skills pretty quickly. Despite all of the activity in my life, I was still always on the chubby side due to my great eating habits -- ahem, late night burger kind 4 nights a week after gymnastics practice. Still, I was always pretty in shape. I never had trouble running or excelling in sports. Additionally, these sports never seemed like exercise to me. It took a LONG time for me to accept that exercise was something everyone had to do (but more on that later...), and unfortunately this realization came with a very large weight gain. I played intramural soccer and volleyball freshman year but was so ashamed of being out of shape that I vowed to stop playing sports. And stop I did. Until now!

This week I finally felt like an athlete again! Last weekend, I hesitantly went up to Vermont with a few friends to go skiing. Because of a past skiing accident that included getting taken down the mountain in a toboggan and the fact that I feel don't feel athletic, I was very nervous. I actually ended up doing better than expected and was barely sore the next day! AKA, my intense workouts are in fact working!

Then, I finally decided to get back into the world of sports and joined an intramural basketball team! Not only did I play wayyy better than expected, but I was the only one on my team who wasn't winded. I guess all those scheduled runs are paying off! I'm extremely proud of myself for getting back into feeling like an athlete and hope to continue moving forward! I'd really love to play soccer again someday.

The next "up" is that I have FINALLY broken into the next decade of weight loss!!! I feel like I had been stuck in this specific weight range for SOOO long and finally have gotten over this plateau. I think part of this is that in addition to sticking to my training plan, I've seriously started focusing on the nutrients in the food I eat. For instance, I bought chia seeds recently and have been adding them to pretty much everything! I know people say these are tasteless, but they taste just like poppy seeds to me which I happen to have a strange affinity for. This superfood is filled with healthy fats (like omega-3 and 6 oil), protein, fiber, and calcium. Amazing.

So I'm sitting here getting ready to write my "downs", and I think instead I'm just going to skip them! I'd rather end this post with some recent food pics :)

Last night's dinner:
Spinach spaghetti w/ grilled chicken (cooked in a pan w/ olive oil, rosemary, thyme, oregano, garlic powder, and CHIA SEEDS!), topped with parm cheese and smokin' hot!And on the side, a mini veggie plate with tomato, carrots, and string beans. I think I'm seriously in the minority when I say I always prefer raw veggies over cooked, and I never ever need dip!And for a sweet snack, a frozen piece of a luna protein chocolate chip cookie dough bar. I've been cutting these protein bars into bite size pieces and popping them in the freezer. They make a great chocolately late-night snack!

Alright, that's it for tonight! I'm off to relax before heading to work for the night.

Restless Nights

Don't you hate them? Those nights where you really want to go to sleep early, then just find yourself so caught up in your thoughts that sleep isn't even an option. Tonight, for the first time in a while, my thoughts are around Jonas. I don't really know where these thoughts came from, but I really wish they'd go away and leave me alone! I found myself going through my old emails and messages and reading our past conversations. I can't believe it's been over 200 days since I've spoken to him (but who's counting..). I don't even know who he is anymore. Jonas was my best friend since I was 13 -- that's 8 years of talking just about every day.

When I started this blog, I thought I'd be spending more time talking about Jonas. I've surprised myself with how far I've come recently. Sometimes I'll be sitting at work or in class and think "wow, I haven't thought about Jonas the entire day." These thoughts make me feel both proud and extremely sad. I'm proud of how much I've improved since the summer, but sad that the reality of this breakup is really setting. It's times like these -- when I find myself missing Jonas -- that I need to remind myself of the reasons why our relationship was so destructive and why ending it was the right move (even if it wasn't my own decision). Back in June when Jonas decided this was over, I could hardly get myself out of my bed. I was able however, on the insistence of a good friend, to head over to Borders and pick up a book to distract myself. I came home with a few books, including "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken." Now, I wasn't the biggest fan of "He's Just Not Into You" -- probably because I was in a relationship with a guy who CLEARLY was no longer into me. This book is different though. It's funny, empathetic, and offers seriously good advice. Even better for the quote lovers out there, it's filled with lots of powerful quotes that I happily wrote on post-its and stuck all over my room.

So in these moments of weakness, when it's 1:20 AM and all I want is to go back to Long Island and crawl into Jonas' bed, I turn to my quotes. I'm reminded of all of the loneliness, pain, jealousy, and unhappiness that came with this relationship. I realize how far I've come and can hopefully once again pick myself up and move on. So for all the heartbroken girls out there, I recommend you get yourself a copy of this book.

But in the meantime, here are some of my favorite quotes to hold you over:

At the end of the day, it’s about whether YOU like yourself enough to face the reality that your romance wasn’t working, to recognize that it wasn’t giving you what you needed and deserved, and to pull yourself out of the dumps and seize the opportunity before you. Because as messed up as everything seems right now, this could be the single best thing that ever happened to you.

And starting today, you’re not the kind of woman who settles for broken or hangs on to damaged goods, be it a radio, a pair of shoes, or a relationship. Your life is not a yard sale. It’s time to get rid of all the broken stuff that you’ve been lugging around for days, months, and maybe even years, and make the bold decision to start looking for stuff that works.

Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears.

You are also breaking free from a relationship that wasn’t working. Freedom means no more agonizing, no more drama, and no more time wasted on someone who wasn’t appreciative of who you really are. Freedom means you can redesign your life and the sky’s the limit—you can take all the things you hoped for in your relationship, all your dreams about what love should be and feel and look like, and find a guy who will actually make them happen.

Above all, remember that every step of this process is an opportunity to take care of and honor yourself. Every moment of pain, weakness, and discomfort puts you in a position to choose how you will react and how you will alleviate your condition. Calling him doesn’t make it better—it only pulls you back into the cycle of heartbreak.

Facing up to what your relationship was actually like—not just remembering or rewriting the good parts, but dealing with how it really was between you and realizing that the breakup makes sense on some level—is perhaps the most critical step you can take in the process of moving on. Besides, who are you trying to impress with your revisions? Your friends and family, who probably know the truth already? Yourself? You don’t need to lie to yourself, especially if you truly love yourself for the totally rocking lady you are. Being honest with yourself won’t hurt you—in fact it’s the only way you’re going to grow from this experience. Avoiding the truth not only prevents you from learning from your mistakes, it also reinforces the belief that you need to fool yourself to get by. Stop teaching yourself that you can’t cope!

This breakup could be the event that not only changes your way of thinking about who you are and what you deserve, but also takes you to places you didn’t know existed.

Real love doesn’t require a strategy—but getting on with your life does.

Make a pact with yourself to try to live the vision of what you want your life to look like. Every time you step outside, you should make an effort to reflect the person you are on your way to becoming, not the shell of the shattered woman he dumped.

And the best revenge is living well, feeling good about yourself, and projecting those feelings out into the world.

You have to learn how to love yourself, and put yourself first before you will ever find the healthy, loving, and lasting relationship you’re looking for. Being number one means you can take care of yourself when no one else will, because there are times in our lives when we are all we have, and knowing that we can get through those times is not only reassuring but a really attractive quality.

You are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you give up to be with that person.

Great accomplishments take time but are always worth the effort.

Half Marathon Training Plan

I have been seriously busy lately! The amount of work required by classes really took me by surprise, plus working at the gym + completing workouts + cooking + job searching, blogging has really been put on the back burner. Anyway I wanted to quickly update with my Half Marathon Training Plan! I'm so excited that I've stuck with it for 3 and a half weeks! Wooo! I'm really happy with the plan I came up with (it's a combination of a few novice plans I found online). I can feel myself getting stronger as a runner, my stamina is building, and I still get to keep my workouts fun by doing zumba a few times a week! Even though I'm sticking to it pretty much to the T so far, I also realize that I'm guarenteed to have a day where I need to switch things up...and I'm totally open to that! The most important thing is to get my long run in once a week, whenever that may be!

So here it is: (click to enlarge)

Isn't it pretty!? Haha. The colors make me excited to look at it. The first week was just an attempt to get myself back into exercising right after the holidays. 30 DS stands for 30 day shred, which I've basically put on hold for the time being because there is no room in my apartment! I am running 3 times a week (1 short run, 1 short run + strength, and 1 long run on Sundays). On Mondays I do my personal training strength workout which is 60-90 minutes. On Wednesday and Saturday I do some sort of cross training. I scheudled it this way so that I can hopefully always make my cross days be zumba, but sometimes I'll have to improvise -- like last Wednesday where I did a 60 minute spinning class. This plan is reasonable to me and keeps my workouts enjoyable. Since I'm only trying to FINISH the half marathon there was no reason for me to run more than 3 times a week and no need to get fancy with interval/speed training. By the end of my plan I will have run 12 miles on the long run. AHH! I can't even imagine that it this point! Hopefully all will go well until then.

I just had a delicious lunch (which unfortunately I forgot to take a picture of) of tuna salad (1 can of tuna, 1 tsp of mayo, 1 chopped pickle), one slice of whole wheat toast, some baby carrots, and a green apple. Delicious. I'm off to class and a long night of work! Happy Wednesday :)

Snow Day + A Funk

Just two days into the semester and we had a snow day. To be honest I wasn't so happy about this. I like routine and I felt like I was just starting to get back into one. I also like handing in completed assignments and HATE having them finished but in the in-between stage - it makes me feel weirdly anxious! I was in complete denial that we'd have this snow day so I set my alarm to wake up for my first zumba class of the semester. I can't even explain how excited I was for this class - I've been having zumba withdrawals! Unfortunately I woke up to an email saying the instructor couldn't make it to the gym so the class was canceled...along with classes at my University. I went and made some breakfast then got back in my bed and slept for a little longer. Breakfast was a piece of whole wheat toast with Justin's chocolate peanut butter and a banana.I spent the rest of the day getting ahead on some class reading and just relaxing. Since I couldn't go to zumba I decided to go to an hour long spinning class at night. The class was pretty good (the Instructor's music choices were awesome) but it was pretty basic. This always happens in the beginning of the semester. I understand things have to be a little more simple for the newbies but I have trouble pushing myself any further than the instructor is telling me. Oh well...still a good workout. Andd so far I have officially stuck to my half marathon training to the T for 2 and a half weeks! I'm a little nervous about what the snow is going to do to my plan. Tomorrow I have a 3.5 mile run + strength on the schedule and I REALLY don't want to run on the indoor track. It may be too icy/snowy to run outside though.

For dinner I made one of my favorite chicken dishes. This afternoon I marinated a few breasts in olive oil, lemon juice, chopped garlic, a bit of chopped onion, and various herbs (I think I included rosemary, a little oregano, salt and pepper). I dumped everything out into a pan and cooked the chicken for a few minutes until it was tender and juicy. On the side I made some Israeli cous cous topped with some parmesan cheese. Once the chicken was done I quickly sauteed some spinach in the leftover marinade. This was suchhh a good dinner...but all the brown colors made it look a little bland. You almost can't tell the chicken is on the right side of the picture - it's topped with some lemon slices.
I planned on talking a bit about the "funk" I've been in for the past few weeks but now that I'm here I don't really feel like it. Basically, I've been feeling a little withdrawn and antisocial lately. I've been spending most of my free time alone in my room and haven't really had the desire to spend time with my friends or do anything social in general. This is pretty unlike me because I usually love hanging out with friends, going out to restaurants and bars, just sitting around chatting etc. But all I've really wanted to do lately is either sit alone or work out. I've been doing my mandatory social acts like attending class and going to work, but every time I'm with other people I find myself getting annoyed, anxious, and a little self conscious. I don't really know where this is coming from but I hope to dig a little deeper into it when I meet with my therapist on Friday. I hope that after I meet with her I'll be able to pull myself out of this a bit. I would like to have a good, fun weekend but I know I need to get myself in a different mindset. Wish me luck!

First Day of School!

Today was officially my last first day of school! That is unless I go to grad school...

I feel EXHAUSTED right now. After 3 weeks of doing nothing but working out getting back into the swing of things always makes me sooo sleepy. Today I woke up on the earlier side to eat breakfast and get to the gym for my strength workout. The workout was great and although I'm still an avid night worker outer, it was nice to be done with it early on. I then headed to class from 1:30-4:30. My classes are going to be interesting but I'm slightly nervous about the work load + working + keeping up with half marathon training + enjoying senior year. Most of my friends are taking pretty easy classes but because of some mixups my semester abroad I ended up having to save a lot of my major requirements for this semester. Hopefully all will work out though!

After class I went over to Whole Foods to do a little food shopping, then went to work at the gym for a few hours. The gym was CRAZY. In my 5 years of working there I've never seen it so packed. This Monday was basically like January 1st for us college kids. Everyone makes their resolutions to "work out every day and take notes every day" on the first Monday. I used to do it too! I'm a pretty good note taker but like I've already said my resolutions usually failed. Oh well! At least I'm being kept busy at work :)

I actually managed to take a few pictures of food today but I'm too lazy to upload them. Now I understand why everyone switches from blogspot to wordpress! I'm going to attempt to get a little reading done then it's off to bed for me. Good night!

Food Bloggin' Love

I am seriously loving food blogging! I'm finding that I'm putting more love into the food I'm cooking. And everything looks prettier! It is definitely making me appreciate my food more, and is even making me eat more balanced. Today I even said "I need to make sure I get some protein into dinner" -- that's a first! I'm a carb/cheese lovin' girl and sometimes it will be days before I realize I've had any meat. I'm also not too good at adding non-meat protein to my meals. I do love beans and legumes but something they're just too time consuming to cook and the canned ones have that weird metal taste. Yuck. Anywho, I'm hoping I can slightly sustain this food blogging. It's making me really happy and keeping me right on track with eating!

As for workouts, today was a scheduled "rest" day. I'm actually more proud of myself for taking the rest day than I have been on days I've completed workouts! It's always been hard for me to schedule and actually take rest days. I usually like to wait until I'm so sore and exhausted that I can't possibly make it down the stairs. When I was looking into half marathon training plans (I created one for myself based on a mixture of standard plans), one recurring factor was scheduling rest days two days before your longest run. Since I declared Sunday my "long run" day, Friday officially became my rest day. I definitely feel well rested and although I felt like I could have worked out today, I'm happy I followed my plan. I know I'll feel even stronger tomorrow for a cross training day and ready for my long run on Sunday (even though this is week 2 so long run only equals 4 miles).

Now on to some of today's eats!

I was running out of the house to work this morning so grabbed a Kashi Pumpkin Pecan bar and a clementine. I am obsessed with clementines. At home, my friends always make fun of me saying that you know I'm coming if you can smell clementines -- not the worst thing to be known for. Ha.

Lunch was some serious comfort food. When I was younger and would stay home from school sick my Mom would make me chicken noodle soup minus the chicken :) And I always asked for double noodles. What did I tell you? Carbs over protein! Today I broke up LOTS of skinny Thai noodles and mixed them into a can of low sodium chicken broth.
Looooots of noodles!
And on the side, a small salad of greens, a tomato, cheese (my attempt at adding protein), dressed in a little bit of light Caesar dressing, and about half an apple.
Dinner seriously hit the spot. I have been craving tuna for days and finally gave in! I mixed a can of tuna with some mayo and chopped pickles, piled it into a whole wheat wrap along with some cheddar cheese and tomato, then grilled it in my George Foreman for a few minutes.
On the side: 1/2 a cucumber, a couple of blackberries, and the rest of my tomato.
It's snowing pretty hard here in Boston so who knows if I'll make it out of my apartment tonight, but here's to the weekend anyway!!

Chilly Chilly

Damnnnn it's cold in Boston these days! I woke up on the earlier side today to head down to Jamaica Plain to watch my oldest and best friend in action at her school. It was pretty cute talking to the kids and feeling like a special guest. It was also the first time I was called old! Ha!

Today's workout was a 3.5 mile run in the great outdoors. It was seriously cold outside and it took a lot of motivation to get myself out the door! I had to keep telling myself that I'd be completely warm in just 5 minutes so I should just suck it up. It worked! I finished the run in 36 minutes -- right on target for my 6 mph target pace. I finished the run with about 20 minutes of mild strength training at the gym, including my least favorite (but seriously effective) leg exercise: squats. Anyone else HATE these? It seems like no matter how often I do these babies I'm still sore the next day. Guess that just means it's working...or I have really weak hamstrings?

I also came back from my run with a huge blister on my foot. Whenever it's time for me to get new sneakers I start to get blisters on the arches of my feet. I feel like this is a pretty strange spot, but I know it will be cured with a new pair of kicks. Better get my butt on over to Marathon Sports this week.

Tonight's dinner was a delicious little Mexican Pizza based off this Green Lite Bites Recipe,
I used:
1 whole wheat tortilla
1/4 cup fat free refried beans
1/4 avocado sliced
2 tbs salsa
2 tbs fat free sour cream
1/4 cup reduced fat cheddar cheese
Lots and lots of Frank's Red Hot sauce (I am a sucker for spicy food)I put the tortilla in the oven on 400 degrees while I prepared all of the ingredients. For the past few months I had tried to stop measuring out my food, but found that in almost all cases I was waaaay over estimating (especially when it comes to cheese). So I'm back to measuring out. I pretty much always measure whatever is 1 serving size...it's just easier that way :)How cute are those heart shaped measuring spoons?! I keep the tortilla in the oven for about 5 minutes, just until it starts to get a little crispy. Then I take it out of the oven (but keep the oven on) and start to layer all of the ingredients. You can obviously layer however you want, but I like this way the best. First comes the refried beans, then the salsa.Next up is the sour cream, avocado and cheese. Put it back in the oven on broil and cook until cheese is melted and the outer crust starts to look crispy (usually another 5 minutes). Take it out of the oven, drizzle with hot sauce, and get excited!Who doesn't love lots of melty cheese?! I served up my mexican pizza with the strange but delicious side of blackberries.I've got to get ready to meet some friends. Tomorrow is Friday! Wooo....even those of us who are doing nothing at the moment (me) still look forward to Fridays ;)

The Runner's High That Came and Went

I have always felt like I lose my running stamina much more quickly than others. I think that's why it's always felt impossible for me to form a running habit. Before the holiday business of November and December I was running pretty consistently. In addition to zumba and personal training, I'd make sure to get in 2-3 runs a week ranging between 3 and 7 miles. I was feeling great, increasing distance was getting easier and easier, and I had found my runner's high.

I always thought the runner's high was a myth -- something runners just said to answer questions like "how can you possibly run for 2 straight hours??" It took me a while to finally experience this fricken awesome phenomenon. It was on one of my first longer runs around the Charles River. I has probably been running for about 35 minutes when I started to notice the beauty of the river and sunset around me. I became completely lost in my thoughts and suddenly realized that I had no idea what the last 2 songs played on my ipod were. I was so consumed in my thoughts that I literally couldn't even hear the music. Maybe other people's runner's highs are different, but that's mine -- when I become so entranced in my thoughts that I don't even notice I'm running. What an AMAZING thing. As I became more comfortable running, the length of my highs grew with the length of my runs. I became one of those people who looks forward to running and the peace that comes with getting lost in your own head.

Like most people, during the holiday season my workouts slowed down a bit. I was still working out 3-5 times a week but was sticking to group fitness classes and personal training. It became frigidly cold in Boston and I just couldn't work up the motivation to keep up with my running. I knew that I was planning on training for a half marathon so I wasn't too worried -- I'd get back into running pretty soon. While I was home for Christmas, we had a couple of beautiful days in New York. I decided to take advantage and went for my first run in a few weeks. And boy did I struggle. I ran a 3.5 mile loop around my old neighborhood and hated every second of it. The next day, same thing. I was so miserable that I couldn't even make it the 3.5 miles and ended up walking/jogging a good chunk of it. I couldn't believe that it took me months to build up my running to where it had been and in just a few short weeks I was almost back to where I started. Luckily I wasn't completely crushed. I decided to start my half marathon training a week early and kicked my running back into gear. I am quickly rebuilding my stamina and even felt my runner's high return briefly last night!

It was too cold outside to run (and I was too lazy to run in the morning when the sun was up) so I headed to my gym's indoor track to crank out my 3.5 mile run. I hate running on the track, and had a feeling it was going to be a tough run. But alas, my runner's high returned! About 20 minutes in I suddenly realized I once again couldn't recall the song that was just playing. Unfortunately, as soon as I recognized that the high had returned, it disappeared just as quickly as it came. But I'm hopeful! Knowing that I can improve more quickly is making me super excited to continue training for this half marathon. Jeez, who am I?? Did I just say excited?!

On another note, I'd really like to start incorporating my daily food more onto this blog, but since my photo uploader is slow as hell I can't really promise anything. Also, my roommates are gone so I have the opportunity to take pictures of my food without them looking at me like I'm a psycho. I wish I had taken pictures of last night's dinner...it was SO delicious! I made homemade baked french fries based off this recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/emeril-lagasse/oven-crispy-fries-recipe/index.html

Basically I cut up 1 potato into fry like slices, mixed "Emeril's Essence" minus the onion powder with 1 egg white, coated the fries, stuck them in the oven at 425 on a tray coated with cooking spray and cooked them about 25 minutes (flipping half way through). These fries are UNBELIEVABLE. I'm not kidding, they taste better than any fast food restaurant fries. If you're a fry lover like me, TRY THEM! I also cooked up 1/2 of a turkey, feta and spinach burger I got from Whole Foods and served it bunless and topped with spinach, pickles and ketchup. Yummm!

Tonight's dinner was seriously delish. After my cross-training workout I was craving some spaghetti and meatballs. I love whole wheat pasta but for some reason when I have meatballs I always want white pasta. Who knows. Anyway, I cooked up 2 oz. of spaghetti and made mini meatballs with:
1/4 pound of ground white meat turkey
2 tsp Parmesan cheese
1 tsp minced garlic
pinches of salt, pepper, dried thyme and oregano

I mixed up the meat in a bowl then rolled it into little balls and pan fried them in some olive oil.
Next I poured some jarred tomato and basil marinara sauce I bought from Whole Foods into the pan and let the meatballs finish cooking. Because they were so small they cooked up pretty quick!

And the final product:


Served with a side salad of mixed greens, tomato, marinated mushrooms and dressed in balsamic vinaigrette.

This meal was delish, healthy, EASY, and filling! Hopefully I'll be able to keep up on adding more food to the blog :) 50 minutes until a new Top Chef All Stars woowoooo!!

What's the Right Resolution?

I thought I'd have one more week at my gym before all the new years revolutionaries invaded but alas, I was wrong. I headed to the gym today to do my 90 minute workout from personal training and it was packed! I know that it's the first Monday of January, but classes don't start here for another week! What are people doing back already!? I'm seriously afraid of what the gym is going to be like once everyone is back. Mayhem!! I guess it's a good thing I'm in half marathon training mode -- that means 3 days a week will be spent running outside (I hope). Speaking of running, I am OBSESSED with my new Garmin. It's seriously the motivator I was hoping it would be and I love uploading it to my computer and getting all my stats! It's feeding the tech nerd I know lives inside me :)

As I walked around my gym watching all the newbies push themselves too hard, I found myself feeling incredibly happy that this year I don't have any weight-loss related new years goals. I think this may be the first year since I became aware of my weight that I haven't attempted to "start the year off right." My goals were always unattainable, and I inevitably ended up failing and feeling guilty and disappointed in myself before I even made it to February 1st. It makes me realize that I am so proud for embedding a fitness routine in myself. Sometimes I forget how far I've come -- while I was home for the holidays I felt so strange and lazy to be taking so many rest days, and yet I was still working out every other day. It just goes to show you that habits (even those seemingly impossible ones) can be formed.

I'm not going to sit here and bash any diet-related new years resolutions. But let's be honest, the majority of people are not going to achieve their goals. Most of the time these goals are too large and just completely unrealistic. There is no way a couch potato is going to magically transform themselves into a person who diligently exercises at least 5 days a week and cooks every meal at home just because it's the first of January (or a Monday for that matter). Becoming healthy is a lifelong process and requires small changes at a time.

I know in my last post I wrote that I lost 25 pounds in 2010, but to be honest, I spent the last 4 years losing and gaining those 25 pounds. When I realized four years ago that my life was heading down an incredibly unhealthy path, I started making small changes. I tried to exercise once a week, then twice, then three times. Eventually I joined group fitness classes and wanted to "get my money's worth". I eventually started counting calories and paying really close attention to eating only low fat and low calorie food. I lost weight, went home for a month and gained it back, then lost it again.

It wasn't until I was living in South Africa that I started to eat whole and REAL foods almost all of the time -- everything was so cheap so I was constantly cooking and buying fresh produce. I by no means paid attention to calories while I was traveling, and all of my exercise came from hiking, walking, and trekking up a mountain to class every day. It was also the first time in my life that I maintained my weight. I came back from Africa within 2 pounds of when I left, and I knew that there was something strange going on. Don't people always gain weight when they go abroad? Had I discovered some weight loss/maintenance secret? Well no, but I did discover that I feel and look better when I'm eating real foods. Not to say I don't still buy some processed food/eat out and get fries and a buffalo chicken, but I have slowly incorporated more fresh and whole food into my diet. I almost always go shopping once a week and I feel this habit forming the same way as my exercise habit.

This post is getting a little long and lecture-y so I'm going to wrap it up. I think what I'm really trying to say can best be summed up in this quote I read in a blog the other day:

"For this New Years health resolution, focus on what you want to GAIN, not what you want to lose!"

Instead of setting unrealistic goals, why not commit to making one or two small changes, then spending the year turning those changes into habits? Focus not on how much weight you can lose as fast as possible, but the emotional gains you get from feeling proud, healthy and motivated.

Happy January!