Allow Endings

According to an early Twitter employee, years ago Jack Dorsey, founder of Twitter, posted his "Life Lessons" on an old blog. Here they are:

• Don't be a jerk
• Don't take anyone for granted
• Enjoy the moment
• Be honest, always
• Be humble
• Be kind
• Respect people's wishes
• Allow endings
• Fail openly
• Have an amazing haircut

As the year comes to an end I find myself getting especially reflective. I think a lot about the year -- who came into my life, who left it, what I did well, what I could have done better, what I hope to continue into the next year, what I want to make sure to leave behind...

I'm a believer in resolutions and goal setting (I particularly liked Matt Frazier's "Defense of New Year's Resolutions"). My friend got me interested in the "law of attraction" years ago and I continue to believe in it -- not in the sense that there is some goddess in the clouds who makes our wishes come true, but that stating out loud our meaningful and positive desires will only clear a path for action, which in turn, helps to make our dreams come true. Setting goals forces us to reflect, makes us look at who we are and who we want to be. The unexamined life is not worth living. Yep, I'm quoting Socrates!

Where am I going with this? Oh yea. Allow endings. I love Jack's simple list of lessons, particularly that one towards the end. Allowing endings is something I continue to struggle with. I tend to think I'm decent at change, but truthfully I'm a mess when it comes to "closing one door so another can open", particularly when it comes to relationships. It is extremely difficult for me to allow the people who I cared about, the people who I have a history with, to leave my life. I spent years trying to keep my last relationship afloat because of our history. I ignored all of the negative aspects of the relationship because I was afraid of what my life would be like without that person. I clung on for dear life even when it was clear he wanted to cut ties. Shouldn't that have been enough? Shouldn't I be able to let someone who wants to leave go?

 

As I get older I'm noticing the same trend with my friendships. Space, distance, and maturity are all contributing to the changes in my friendships, and yet I hold onto them tightly, quietly begging that they stay the same. My life right now is an example of how when you clear out the bad in your life, it only makes room for something positive. It's important for me to remember that. I have to remember to allow endings. This life is not static -- things are constantly changing and trying to nail things or people or situations to the ground only causes resentment and hate.

 

So there we are. My New Year's Goal #1: Keep fighting for what you love, but acknowledge the bad, embrace change, and allow endings.

A Good Day!

I had the last two days off of work, which meant a lot of wonderful relaxing, catching up and eating.

Hellooo brunch:

I've been pretty out of control the last few weeks in terms of "living a healthy life" and have really been feeling it. Not only have I been extra tired and sluggish, but my lower back has been in serious pain. Every time I stop working out for a few weeks I get this feeling in my back. It's like it's telling me as long as I'm sedentary it's going to continue hurting. It makes sense -- spending an hour long commute sitting, 8 hours of work sitting, another hour long commute sitting, a few hours in bed or on the couch sitting...that equals a lot of time sitting. I hope that exercise is the solution again this time. I'll do anything to make this pain stop.

So today was a good day. I started the morning with a bowl of cheerios. I was supposed to have my normal banana but it got completely squished (and all over everything) in my purse. Yuck. For lunch I was craving something hot but knew that would only lead me to unhealthy choices, so I opted for sushi instead. I got a spicy tuna roll and a seaweed salad.

Around 4pm I got a random craving for sweets so I had a handful of chocolate covered almonds and jelly beans.

I made a date with my roommate to go to the gym tonight and am happy to say we stuck to it! We planned to head over after the crowds left so we could get on treadmills next to each other, so I ate dinner before we went. I had a two egg omelette with mozarella cheese, two pieces of toast with butter, and an apple. Love these staple dinners.

At the gym we spent 65 minutes walking and catching up. I hovered around 3-3.5 mph and set the incline at 4. We covered nearly 4 miles and lots of topics! Nothing makes time at the gym go faster like walking and talking.

When we got back I chugged some water and had a handful of grapes. I'm feeling really good about today. It's so hard to get back onto a "normal" eating schedule a while eating extra large portions. I've been really struggling with lunch lately and I know the solution is just that I have to make it myself. I suddenly got into eating a lot of crap and large meals during lunch and have found it really hard to get out of the habit. One of the biggest challenges I'm facing is my desire to eat something hot that's not soup. There aren't a lot of healthy options in the food court besides soup, so when I want something hot I turn to the pizza, baked ziti and Chinese food -- all of which come in way too large of portions.
So it's brainstorming time!

What are decent hot, healthy options when buying lunch at work? 
- Soups (best choice, but I haven't wanted soup at all lately)
- Small portion of baked ziti
- Classic veggie sandwich from D'Angelos
- White rice and steamed veggies from the Chinese place
- Sushi (not hot) + miso soup from Sushi place

Obviously the best choice is to just go food shopping and bring lunch. That will be the plan for next week, but for the time being I'll do my best to keep making good choices and eat normal human portions!

Long Time & Thanksgiving x3

Well this was a bit of a hiatus. Actually it wasn't as long as it felt! My last post was a mere 16 days ago, but quite a lot has happened in those last 16 days.

So I guess I left off with a bit of a cliffhanger..I did make a good dinner all those 16 days ago, but it wasn't what I was planning. I planned to tackle the buttercup squash that's [still] sitting in my fruit bowl, but decided to make my very first batch of homemade chicken soup! From scratch!

My recipe was SUPER simple:
- 1 large chicken breast w/ bone (cut up by butcher)
- pot of water
- carrots and celery, sliced into chunks
- Israeli cous cous
- salt, pepper, oregano and garlic powder

I boiled the chicken and vegetables for a while until they were cooked through. When everything was done I strained the broth, shredded the chicken and cut up the carrots and celery into small bites. While chopping I added the cous cous for a few minutes until it was cooked through. The soup came out really well, but I put in way too much cous cous and it sucked up most of the broth. Boo. At least I know for next time!

So, Thanksgiving has come and gone, which is sad because it's one of my favorite holidays! I went home to NY and spent Thursday feasting with my family. I'm terrible and didn't take too many pictures, but of course couldn't forget the antipasta!! It's hands down my favorite part of Thanksgiving and I look forward to it all year.

Before

And after

On Friday I headed to New Jersey for Thanksgiving round 2 with Tom's family. Unlike my Italian family, Tom's family's meal was meat heavy and full of delicious Polish treats. My plate:

We came back to Boston on Saturday and spent some time relaxing. I knew I had a crazy week of work ahead of me because my biggest event of the year was coming up. I try to steer clear of talking about work on here, but I will say the event was a success! I'm also happy it's over. I'm excited for my "slow season" at work during January-February. These last few months have been super stressful and it will be nice to have a break (and nights free of work-dreams)!

Thanksgiving didn't end in New Jersey. Last weekend I celebrated #3 with my friends at a belated Friendsgiving party. This was legit! We had a real turkey and everything (thanks Ms. Cara!)

Once again I forgot to take a bunch of photos but did snag a picture of my dinner and dessert plates:

I made candied sweet potatoes, which was a bit risky since I've never even eaten them before. I think they came out pretty well, if I do say so myself! I simply boiled the potatoes, layered them in a pan, covered them in brown sugar, butter, cinnamon and mini marshmallows and baked it until all was melted and gooey.

Now I'm just trying to get back into the groove of normal life. I haven't run in 2 weeks :( Things were just too busy with Thanksgiving and then my event. I've been exhausted all of this week but I'm hoping to make it on to the treadmill tonight. 5:30 yet??