Adios 2010!

2010 was a big year for me, and while I did a lot of great things I'm not too sad to say goodbye to this year.

Some 2010 highlights:

1. I spent five months in South Africa!

2. I bungee jumped off the highest bungee jump in the world! 710 feet!!

3. I survived 10 days of camping in the Okavango Delta

4. I went to Chicago

5. I started my senior year of college :(

6. I lost 25 pounds!

7. I made so many new friends from all over the country (and world!)

8. I cage dove into "Shark Alley" with giant great white sharks

9. I went hiking in Vermont
10. I climbed mountains!
11. I ran five 5ks (and PRed at 30.05) and a 10k!

12. I spent my second Halloween as a ninja turtle :)


I LOVE opportunities for new "beginnings" so new years are something I've always looked fondly upon. I am happy to say that this year I have only 1 resolution: Continue doing what I've been doing. I've learned so much about myself this year and am starting on the path to becoming the person I want to be. I hope that I'm able to continue improving my self and my health throughout the next year. I lost a lot in 2010, including 1 person who I always expected would be a huge part of my life, but I'm excited at what 2011 holds. The year is already looking good: Florida in February, Half marathon in March (ahhh!!), GRADUATION in May. I have a lot to look forward to. Anyway, it's time to get ready! Happy New Year!!

Blizzard!

I'm happy to report that my time at home is going pretty well so far! I'm nervous to even write this, but surprisingly I've been pretty happy here. There have of course been a couple of Jonas-induced bouts of sadness but overall, I'm feeling content at being home and with my family. Sounds like someone's making some progress... :)

Christmas was wonderful. Unfortunately my camera battery died so I didn't get a chance to take some photos of the 7 fish my Italian family cooked and consumed, plus endless amounts of pasta dishes, Italian meats and Christmas desserts. The food was all amazing, and I stuffed myself full both days. Today my Mom and I cleaned out the house and I attempted to have a somewhat "back on track" healthy day. I just finished dinner, which included leftover boiled shrimp and calamari, about a cup of whole wheat pasta with mussels in an amazing crab sauce my Grandma made. I wish these leftover could last forever!

As for working out, I'm already 3/4 through my goal of working out 4 times over winter break! Looks like I'm going to crush it :) So far I've ran twice (both 3.5 mile runs) with some strength training. And before dinner I completed my first workout of Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred. I'm sooo excited I received this on Christmas, and I'm hoping I'm able to complete a 30 day run with this dvd. 20 minutes is so short compared to my normal 90 minute workouts! This should be a piece of cake!!

In addition to my new favorite DVD, I received lots of other fun fitness related gifts:

Some new winter workout shirts and pants from Champion. As I've expressed I'm pretty worried about training for this half marathon in the Boston winter. Hopefully these new shirts will help out a bit.
Another Jillian DVD. Who doesn't want a 6 pack in 6 weeks? Ha. Not sure if I believe that but something is better than nothing right! Anyway, I'm going to Florida in exactly two months and I want to at least be slightly more bikini ready than I am now by then.A Garmin Forerunner 305! I am beyond excited to try this baby out! I know for a fact that this is going to be such a motivating tool in my runs and because I'm such a math nerd I can't wait to play with all the charts and numbers afterward. Yay!!

Other gifts were regular clothes, some comfy shoes, pretty earrings, adorable and beautiful new bowls <3,>

It was a great Christmas and I loved getting to just lay around in my snuggie all day watching Modern Family. Here in New York we're supposed to be getting about 14 inches of snow! I know I'll be doing some shoveling (can that count as workout #4?) I hope the next few days go as well as today because I'm back to Boston on Thursday for New Years. So happy I settled on that decision.

Hope any readers (!?) had a great holiday! :)

It's the most wonderful time of the year?

The good news is that writing that last post on running was a real motivator! The next day I went to the gym, sucked it up an ran 4.5 miles on the track. Sure, it was a very slow 4.5 miles, but I did it!

The bad news is that I didn't get into the NYC half marathon that I applied for months ago. I was really hoping to but I'm going to try to be positive and happily sign up for a 1/2 on the same day in Massachusetts that a few of my friends are doing. Everything happens for a reason?

So it's holiday time again. It's been a weird couple of weeks. I haven't been sticking to my normal eating/food shopping/cooking/working out schedule and I do NOT like it. The combo of endless holiday treats and parties has been too much to handle and my routine has really gotten out of whack. I hate to say it, but I'm ready for the holidays to be over! It's been a rough year and I'm looking forward to a new one. More good news is that since Thanksgiving my weight has stayed exactly the same. I can definitely feel myself getting a little "softer" though, probably due to my lack of strength training as of late. Because I haven't been eating so healthy I had convinced myself that I gained back all of the weight I lost. It wasn't until I saw pictures of myself yesterday that I realized I was being crazy. It's strange (and pretty depressing) that we (I think especially women) have such distorted images of ourselves.

In other news...I'm heading home for the holidays tomorrow and the Jonas anxiety is back and in full force. I'm not as anxious as I was before Thanksgiving but I'm definitely feeling it creepin' up on me. I am coming back to Boston for New Years and am so happy I made that decision. One less thing to be worried about.

It's always helpful to make goals so here we gooo:

Goals for the end of 2010!
1. Control the eating as much as possible while at home
2. Eats lots of yummy seafood on Christmas Eve
3. Treat Xmas Eve and Xmas as holiDAYs
4. Work out at least 4 times from 12/22-12/30
5. Use the free ingredients in my house to cook something new
6. If a Jonas run-in happens, try to stay under control

These goals sound good to me.

This post is extremely ramble-y. Woops!

Brrr

The weather here in Boston is getting quite unbearable. Last night I had to walk for TWO minutes from the train to my apartment and I was crying once I was inside. I don't know when I became such a baby to the cold weather - maybe it was spending a few months in the absolutely beautiful South African weather? And to think...last year at this time I was getting ready to skip winter and head straight into 80 degree Cape Town days :(

The point of this post is that I need some accountability and/or motivation. I have not run (more than a mile here and there) for 2 weeks now. This is very discouraging. I have tried my hardest to get away from making excuses but I just can't help it now. It's just too cold! I am NOT a morning person...I've tried again and again but I truly enjoy working out at night. So my days have gone...wake up for work, work from 9-6, come home to literal 10 degree windy nights, think about running, then chicken out and go to the gym. I've definitely been keeping up with my gym workouts but it is just too damn cold to run outside. How do people do it?! This is making me slightly nervous as I'm running a half marathon in 3 months and I know how quickly I lose my running stamina and how long it takes me to work it back up. I don't know what to do. I have come to hate running more than 2 or 3 miles on a treadmill, and the indoor track in my gym is equally as unbearable (1 mile=12 laps). Any advice on how to kick my running back into gear before it's too late?

Food from the Motherland Part 1 - Seafood!

In honor of tonight being so awesome, I am going to get all nostalgic on yo asses and post some of my favorite food highlights from South Africa! Why was tonight so great you ask? Let me just list the reasons:

1. I just made amazing and exciting plans for Saturday afternoon!
2. Awesome zumba class +upped my chest press weight!
3. Last night's episode of top chef all stars left me wiggling with excitement in bed as I fell asleep.
4. Tonight for dinner I made a wonderful caesar salad (I've been craving this all week) with, wait for it...homemade garlic and parmesan croutons! These babies were so good that after I tasted one out of the oven I actually said out loud, "I love tonight."
5. I watched the Glee Christmas episode while eating said awesome caeser salad.
6. I just got an e-mail from my Mom with my Grandma's secret sauce and meatball recipe. I think I woke up my roommate with my squeals.

Now that everyone is adequately jealous, on to the food porn!

South Africans eat a TON of seafood. Lucky for me being a tourist, I was able to dine on some seriously good seafood while I was there for a pretty low price. I probably ate mussels once a week:

"Green mussels" w/ spaghetti in a pesto sauce

Mussels in a garlic cream sauce w/ cheese bread

One of the best meals I've ever had - mussels, fried calamari, prawns over a huge bed of rice

Another amazing dinner - mussels, grilled calamari, prawns, line fish,
french fries, cream of spinach and butternut squash!

One of many plates from a buffet at Moyo in Stellenbosch - mussels, sesame calamari,
sausage, oilives, cous cous, lots of other random things!

Raw tuna from a bucket! JK...I did a lot of crazy shiz in Africa but
no way I was eating this. Instead I fed it to... dun dun dun

this guy! Yes, that is a great white shark aka JAWS and I did go shark diving in a huge cave!

Well that's about it for South Africa food memories Part 1! Can't wait to go through all my pictures and post the next parts! Happy Friday (in 1 hour wooo!)

Mini Complaints

My wonderful mother always tells me that I need to just feel my emotions, whatever they may be. Like the equally wonderful daughter I am, I always respond with some sort of whiny, "But I don't want to feeeeel, I just want it to go away!" Today I am going to feel these little frustrations, get 'em down on paper (or blog post), and move on! Here we go...

1. I have been dropping everything. As I mentioned in my last post I dropped my delicious homemade pizza face down on the dirty ground. Just now (what inspired me to write this post), I dropped the yummiest, juiciest Gala apple I've ever ate after taking just one bite! The apple playfully rolled out of my hand, left some juice on my pants, and hit the carpet under my desk. When I picked it up there was hair all over it. Ew. Into the trash.

2. Zumba sucked last night and I hurt my back. I was sooo excited for zumba after a week away. Like giddy schoolgirl excited. Last night I showed up and we had a substitute teacher. The woman was perfectly nice and in great shape, but a little older (which made me feel a little raunchy and weird dirty dancing to Sexy Bitch by David Guetta...) and just different from my normal instructor. She also would yell out bizarre unfitting phrases like "Go Huskies." Yes, my school mascot is the Husky, but do you see a sports team? I spent most of the 45 minute class trying to follow her lead and barely broke a sweat. Afterward, I went on the stairclimber (ahhh!) for an intense 30 minute workout aaaand this morning my back hurt. I'm guessing there is a connection. I have personal training tonight which I am NOT canceling. I might suggest doing a little foam roller massaging to start off, but if this back becomes a problem I'm gonna flip out!

3. My room was infested with spiders for not the first, but second time in the last 5 months. Why does this keep happening to me? Last night my roommate and I decided to move the big TV in our living room into my room. While attempting to put the plugs and wires together, I noticed a little spider crawling along the side of the TV. I held my breath and calmly squished it with a tissue. Next thing I know there are 20+ spiders (of all sizes) crawling out of the TV. I started screaming and crying (no exaggeration), closed my eyes, and carried the very heavy TV out of my room. I proceeded to spray toxic amounts of raid on the TV (in our kitchen...not safe) and executed the shit out of those spiders. It took me about 3 hours, 2 men carrying the TV out to the trash, and a 45 minute shower to get that itchy bug crawly feeling away. Ew. I'm squirming in my chair.

So now I complained. Feeling better already!

Top Chef All Stars tonight makes everything better, and finding out that Anthony Bourdain will be a judge again makes me happier than it should...

Post Turkey Day

I'm not sure Thanksgiving was quite the holiDAY I was looking for. It definitely wasn't the usual eat-whatever-I-want-until-January-1st type of thing, but it certainly wasn't just one meal. I arrived home on Tuesday night to a kitchen full of goodies. Coming home from college is always a big overwhelming surprise when it comes to food. It's EVERYWHERE! I did pretty well on Wednesday, Thursday started out great with a 5k turkey trot (new traditions what what!) and then led to me literally feasting for the rest of the day/night. The rest of the weekend wasn't too bad, and I avoided the scale yesterday morning so I didn't have to see the damage. I made myself a little deal that if I didn't get 100% back on track immediately, I was going to weigh in that night. Luckily, I comfortably settled back into my routine with a smile. I ran 5 miles last night and headed over to Whole Foods right after to stock up for the week. I really do feel happy to be back in routine-mode.

This week at home was pretty emotional, and the exaggerated emotions must have packed themselves up in my suitcase to join me in Boston. Last night I made myself a little pizza for dinner, and when I accidentally dropped it face down on the dirty floor I actually started crying - yes, real pizza-induced tears. Luckily my roommate was fast acting and scraped the pizza off the floor while demanding that I just make a new one. I eventually sat happily on the futon eating my pizza and some delicious marinated mushrooms out of my new pretty blue bowl. Ah, the little things.

I had a rough week back in New York and my mind is once again consumed with thoughts of Jonas. An accidental run-in (I think I 'law-of-attracted that happening...) combined with the fact that Jonas lives 30 seconds from my house and the perpetual reminders of what our relationship used to be made for a one seriously melancholy girl. It's very hard for me to not associate home with Jonas. Over the past 5 years I've been back and forth between New York and Boston - my friends and family were always busy with their lives and jobs, so most of my time was spent with Jonas (who never had a job, what a catch). It was a huge adjustment to be at home without him but I'm relieved to know that this weekend was the first step and the worst it will ever be. I hope that I will begin to naturally associate home with my amazing family and wonderful friends - I really look forward to a day when I can be 100% happy to be going home. I'll be back in NY in just over 3 weeks, I can already feel the anxiety boiling...

In the meantime, I have to remember that I have a lot to look forward to both in the short and long term! Just to make myself smile, here is my after-work schedule for the week :)

Tonight: getting together with my bffs for a fundraiser followed by zumba! a week off has made me seriously miss my favorite pastime
Wednesday: Top Chef All Stars!!
Thursday: more zumba :)
Friday: no work! and senior's cocktail party
Saturday: annual big college party - not really my scene but something funny happens every year
Sunday: HARRY POTTER

What do you think I'm the most excited for...?

Thanksgiving Woes

Everywhere I look there is another article/blog post with insight on how to survive the holidays. For some reason I just feel uncomfortable with the words "holiday" and "survive" in the same sentence. Since when did holidays become something we need to survive?! Let's turn to dictionary.com:

hol·i·day

–noun

1. a day fixed by law or custom on which ordinary business is suspended in commemoration of some event or in honor of some person.

2. any day of exemption from work (distinguished from working day).

3. a time or period of exemption from any requirement, duty, assessment, etc.: New businesses may be granted a one-year tax holiday.

4. a religious feast day; holy day, esp. any of several usually commemorative holy days observed in Judaism.

5. Sometimes, holidays. Chiefly British . a period of cessation from work or one of recreation; vacation.

I don't see anything in there that looks like it needs to be survived. Maybe if we didn't hype holidays up so much it just wouldn't be that big of a deal. Holidays should be treated for what they are - celebrations (whether it be political, religious, personal etc.) with family and friends where you happen to get the day off from work. So there is more food involved. Who cares? My goal this year is to treat these holidays for what they are meant to be - not an excuse to eat whatever I want through November and December. On Thursday I'm going to get up at 8 and run a 5k (and get a PR I hope!!), then come home and cook with my sisters. I'll eat more than usual for dinner and dessert, go to sleep early, then wake up in the morning and it will be November 26 - an ordinary day. I've learned from the past few years that when I treat holidays like they are something more than they are, my mind goes into panic mode. I end up spending the entire holiday season like I'm never going to eat again. This year, Thanksgiving will be a holiDAY, not a holimonth!

As you can see in the title, woes is plural. There are other things on my mind with the upcoming holiday. The last time I was home was June 30th. That's almost a good 5 months away. The sole reason for my New York avoidance was Jonas. I'm petrified that I'm going to run into him while I'm home. I know I'm not in a place yet where I can talk to him, and I'm afraid that surprise run-in will only set me back. Avoiding Jonas might seem like an easy task, but I live in a very small town. We have the same friends, our houses are 1 minute away from each other (no joke), and we share the same favorite pizza, bagel, and deli spots. While I doubt that Jonas will be actively seeking me out, if he wants to he'll know where to find me. I'm going to attack this fear like I do with any of my other goals: make a plan. I'm going to spend as much time with family as possible, lay off the alcohol (run-ins with an ex + alcohol = bad news), and try to avoid those common spots where he might be. It's only a couple of days and I know if I stick to this plan I'll be fine. I hope to update this blog while I'm at home, but if not I plan on coming back with a post filled with food, love, and fitness success!

Ode to Cooking

Today I realized something...actually last night (today just sounds better). As I put together a feta, spinach and turkey burger topped with salsa and stuck between two toasted pieces of whole wheat bread I started to think, cooking is becoming my passion. I'm definitely not there yet, but I know that once I have my own place, own things etc. I will embrace cooking wholeheartedly.

The start of this love affair with cooking unfortunately began with the end of another. I've always loved food. I loved going out to eat, eating with family or friends or boyfriends, writing about restaurants, being in a restaurant environment, but cooking was just never something I could get that hang of. When things with Jonas ended last June, everyone kept telling me I had to find ways to spend my time on my own; I had to find a new passion. "But I've been living on my own in Boston for four years!" I whined and whined. The truth is, I didn't even know myself. Every single choice I made involved Jonas, whether it was as small as not buying that one last wooden bowl in South Africa so we could get bagels together as soon as I got home, or as large as missing out on New Years Eve in NYC with my friends so I could spend it with him at home. Most of my spare time was spent talking to him or thinking about him; even though technically we were away from each other, we never really were.

When I moved back to Boston this summer I was a complete mess. My mind would only be occupied with thoughts of him, and I'm talking 24/7. And that's where cooking came in. In the midst of my boredom and depression with my sudden massive amounts of free time, I slowly started to experiment...making my own pizzas, trying avocados and baking homemade french fries, and eventually coming up with my own sauces and soups. It turns out that cooking was the ONLY thing that could occupy my mind fully. It was my only escape and I have willingly thrown myself over to it. The other night I made a beautiful beef broth based soup with onions, cabbage, tomatoes, dark greens, garlic, elbow noodles, cannelloni and kidney beans and a variety of fun herbs and spices. I stood over my stove looking at my creation with a genuine smile, taking in the scents and heat of the stove.

I love watching whole ingredients transform into something new and beautiful. I love my spice rack...I love gently banging the tubes of spices to see them sprinkle into a pot. I love the smells, I love the calculations, I love the measuring, I love the creativity. When I cook I am in my own world, concentrating solely on the food. Every meal is a small reward and I can feel myself healing with each attempt at creating something new, healthy and homemade.

I'm still a bit of a mess, but at least I have something else to lean on. So here is my bit of thanks to cooking, recipes, and all things food :)

The Weekend Goals

So on Friday I wrote down a few goals for the weekend. Let's see how I did shall we?

1. Drink socially when out (for me this means 1-2 drinks)
- Success! On Friday I went out EARLY and drank 2 michelob ultras and lots of water throughout the night. It felt great to wake up on Saturday ready for a day in Cambridge. Saturday night I drank 3 drinks in total and was very happy with that.
2. Eat during the weekend the way I eat during the week
- Eh, fairly successful. I always eat out more on the weekends - in fact I very very rarely eat out during the week. I had two meals out - 1 in which I made bad choices and 1 in which I made some good and bad choices. The other meals I ate during the weekend were definitely on track and I'm proud of myself for slowly getting back into mindset.
3. Do some form of exercise, even if it’s not hardcore cardio
- I did exercise somewhat, but my workout plan on Sunday had to be modified because of things outside of my control. Tonight I'm back to personal training and my foot is almost feeling better. It's taking too long and I hope I don't push it too hard tonight.
4. Watch a few episodes of Lost :)
- Definitely did this! Only 6 more episodes and then I'm done with the series :(
5. Sleep late!
- I slept in pretty late on both Saturday and Sunday, but the noisy heater in my apartment woke me up numerous times throughout the night. Someone should have came this afternoon to check it out so once that is fixed my sleeping schedule will be much better!
6. Cook something new and healthy
- I didn't do too much cooking this weekend, so while I did cook healthy things, nothing new to share.

I think I did fairly well with my goals this weekend and writing them down REALLY helped. I'm happy it's Monday and I feel great today. I feel strong and healthier and ready to get back into the gym! I'm going home for Thanksgiving in just over a week and need to start coming up with a plan while I'm home. My house is always full of unhealthy food and since we host Thanksgiving there will be leftovers for days. I'm looking to sign up for a Turkey Trot Thanksgiving morning but don't really feel like spending the $25/$30 on one. I'll just have to make my own Thanksgiving race ;)

Reevaluating

Happy Friday! Today is inspired by Lindsay’s post on priorities. I was thinking last night that I’ve been getting a little sidetracked lately in a few of the most important aspects of my current life. I just haven’t been feeling good recently and I think I need to reevaluate my priorities:

“Me time” – when I first got back to Boston I was so intent on doing anything I wanted, whenever I wanted. I could do whatever I wanted with that time and the only rule was that I wasn’t allowed to feel guilty about it. I think this is what really pulled me through the post-Jonas depression I was in, and I need to get back to making me (and my happiness) the #1 priority.

Getting healthy – this mostly has to do with my food intake which has been seriously upped in the past few weeks. I need to get back in control when I go out to restaurants or am around people who are eating badly when I’m out.

Running/Exercise – this is most definitely still a priority! I am itching to get back into my normal exercise routine. I’m slightly nervous about my foot because it’s just not getting better. I’ve been reading that it’s actually pretty easy to break the bones in your foot…what?! I think that if this is not feeling better by the time the weekend’s over I may need to suck it up and go to a doctor for some x-rays.

Finding a job/post-college plans – this is not a top top priority right now, but will be soon. It’s something that I’ve definitely been letting slide further down the ladder of importance, when it should really be going in the opposite direction.

Watching Lost - Haha. Yes, for real.

Cooking new healthy recipes – this was another one of the things that helped me through the broken heart. Planning a delicious healthy meal, buying the ingredients, then spending the time to cook it and put love into it was really the highlight of many of my nights the past few months. I haven’t been cooking too many meals (healthy or not) lately and I want to get back into it.

Sleep – Self explanatory. I need to sleep more. Period.

Enjoying senior year of college – this is a tough one, because “enjoying” in college often translates to “go out, get drunk, stay out late, eat crappy food, don’t sleep, and repeat”. I had lain off the drinking for a few months, but recently have gotten sucked back in to not only the drinking, but the drunk eating as well. I’m going to try to have a weekend without drinking and keep in mind how great it felt to not wake up with a hangover.

So I think it’s only appropriate to follow up with some weekend goals:

1. Drink socially when out (for me this means 1-2 drinks)
2. Eat during the weekend the way I eat during the week
3. Do some form of exercise, even if it’s not hardcore cardio
4. Watch a few episodes of Lost :)
5. Sleep late!
6. Cook something new and healthy

I hope that writing these priorities/goals down here will really help me stick with them. Have a great weekend!

Sweating the Small Stuff

A giant rugby player stepped on my foot Saturday night. I haven’t been able to put sneakers on since, which means very limited workouts for this girl. I cannot believe how frustrated I was last night. I had scheduled a personal training appointment to be followed by my favorite activity, zumba, and because of this ridiculous foot I had to cancel both. I bitched to my roommate and stomped my (not bruised) foot as I reluctantly clicked the “cancel appointment” button on my laptop. I wound up doing some measly push-ups and sit-ups before heading back into bed with a pout.

I wish I could have taken this small frustration and dusted that dirt off my shoulder with an easy “oh well”. After all, this is just a swollen bruise, it should be gone by Friday! Instead, my thoughts started spiraling out of control. It started small with a “great, now I won’t be able to run as far as I did last Friday because I’m taking a few days off”, to “when did I start to care so much about running?” and then to “uh oh, I think I’m addicted to exercise.” Taking 3 days off of exercise felt like a lifetime, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. What’s going to happen to me if I get a real injury, not just some measly bruise?

It seems in all my moments of frustration, anger or negativity my thoughts always head back to Jonas. I suddenly started thinking, “Screw Jonas! It’s his fault that I’m obsessed with exercise. If he never ended things I wouldn't have had to find something else to obsess over. If he still loved me I wouldn’t have to work out as much and then none of this would matter!” In my stronger state (like right now) I want to tell the panicky and frustrated Julie of last night to shut the f up and enjoy the live episode of The Biggest Loser. This situation has nothing to do with Jonas, it has to do with the fact that the captain of our rugby team got drunk, got in a fight, and my little left foot got in the way. It scares me that while I have come a long way in this post-breakup time, my emotions run wild when even the tiniest thing goes wrong. My foot gets stepped on and in my mind, everything around me starts to fall apart.

It took some stepping back last night to realize that this is not a big deal. I'll be back to my normal schedule in a few days, and in the meantime should enjoy some extra R&R. I really need to stop sweating the small stuff.