I never recapped this past weekend, but I had a great few days in NJ visiting Tom's family. There was lots of this cutie pie:
Tom and I packed our workout clothes intent on doing something over the weekend, and I'm actually still really surprised that we did! On Sunday, we woke up early (aka...8:30) and went over to the woods for a short run. The first mile was okay. It always take my body some time to get warmed up in the morning. After the first mile we hit a ginormous hill, so I took it down to a walk. Once at the top, I ended up running down the hill (over rocks, sticks and bumps!) the rest of the way. I even managed a serious sprint to the car for the last 30 seconds or so. I was feeling so giddy and happy at the end of this run. I had so much fun running through the trails and because I was enjoying it, I never felt tired or out of breath. I felt like I could have done the whole thing over again.
Now let's speed up to last night. It was beautiful out, so Tom and I decided to go for a run over by the beach. I didn't get home until nearly 7, so I was really hungry and scarfed down some snacks right before going out to run. After just a few minutes I got a CRAZY cramp on my side. It hurt so much that I was holding back tears. I made myself eek out a mile then stopped and had to stretch. We ended up walking the rest of the way home and I felt extremely defeated. Thinking with a clear mind now, it really wasn't a bad day exercise-wise. I walked to and from work as well so overall I walked 7 miles and ran 1 yesterday.
Anyway, when I had to stop after the cramping I got a really really bad attitude. My poor boyfriend had to listen to me bitch and whine about it the whole way home (thanks TKO <3). We talked a lot about comparisons (something I've touched on more than a few times on this blog) and the fact that I need to stop holding myself to such high expectations (in more ways than just fitness goals).
Running has never been my high point. Even when I was younger and was a crazy athlete, running distances never came easily. I could sprint 100 meters with the best of the best on Long Island, but I couldn't get myself to finish the mile warm up. So maybe running is just not for me? When I think back to half marathon training, every step I ran further was an accomplishment because it was something new, and something I never imagined I could do. Now that I know I can complete a half marathon around a 10 minute-mile pace, anything less feels like a failure. But it's not fair to compare myself to the July of March 2011. That was 2 and a half years ago and my life, body and motivations are completely different. And yet I can't stop expecting myself to measure up. Every disappointing run feels like a step backwards both physically and mentally. I just couldn't believe that after working out almost every day for the last two months I was still struggling through just 1 mile of running.
Tom and I did some thinking last night about other types of activity I could focus on. Partially why I am enjoying 30 Day Shred so much is because every day I get up and do it is a success. Even on the days when I can barely complete the exercises, it's still an achievement because it's something I've never done before. There's no Expert 30DS Julie who exists in the past. I think one of the reasons I've been thinking so much about crossfit for the past few months is because it would be something completely new. I can set goals from scratch, so every workout and step forward would be a huge accomplishment. Unfortunately crossfit in Boston is far too expensive for me to fit into my life at this point, but there are other things I could do. Here's some ideas I've come up with:
- Run shorter distances: do some old track workouts (4, 2, 1s or straight up sprints)
- Pick another DVD with a goal in mind to complete after 30DS (Insanity, P90X, Jillian Michael's Shredded etc.
- Try crossfit and figure out a way to make the $$ work out for a short period of time
- Personal training
- Pick a new gym class to try (bodypump, barre, spinning, kickboxing)
In lieu of crossfit, I've been thinking of switching gyms again. I haven't gone to the gym near my apartment in quite some time, and honestly, besides the convenience I really don't like it. It's not a place I want to spend time in, so why would I go (even if it's right next door)? There is a beautiful gym right next to my office that I'm thinking of joining once my year is up. I'll give more details on this gym as I find them out.
So that's it. I just want to keep the negative, self deprecating thoughts as far from my brain as possible. If that means giving up my dreams of being a sub 10 minute mile runner for now, then so be it.
No comments:
Post a Comment