My Very Worst Date
It all started when we accidentally ended up in the same cab on the way home from a party. Admittedly, I was in college and pretty drunk, so what I remember is that he took my phone out of my hand and called his (this was back when I had what I nicknamed "The Rock" and phones didn't have passwords).
 |
| My favorite phone. |
A few days later he asked me on a movie date and I obliged. I didn't know him at all, but the lure or dating a cute football player from my school made me accept a date with him, and really, what did I have to lose? I figured worst case I'd get to see The Hangover for free.
I don't usually like movie dates, but he suggested it and I was just along for the ride. As we lived on opposite sides of town we decided to meet at the theater a little while before the start time. Since I value my own and others' time, I showed up at the theater about 20 minutes beforehand, just like we planned. As soon as I arrived I received an angry text from him that said something like "this mothaf-ing cab is late...I'll be there soon". Pretty soon to be throwing Mother F bombs down, but whatever. I waited until about 5 minutes before the movie was starting and decided to buy us the tickets.* I texted him to let him know I bought the tickets and where to meet me. He responded furiously that I shouldn't have bought the tickets and that this wasn't his fault. Blah blah. Whatever. About 1 minute before the movie started he showed up looking distraught and loudly cursed out the cab company before even saying hello to me. I immediately started nervous laughing and just tried to get him to shut up and hurry into the theater.
We found seats quickly and his mood seemed to brighten up during the previews. You'd think it's universally known that once the lights dim, you stop talking. But I guess this guy had things he really needed to say because as the movie started, he began to tell me that his ex girlfriend is pissed at him because he was smoking pot all day. In fact, he was high now! Why WOULDN'T he be high for The Hangover?
He goes on to loudly tell me that he still lives with his girlfriend and that they still have "something" going on. Great! Freakin' college athletes man, think the can do whatever they want!
So, now I'm not only embarrassed that this guy is talking to me during the movie, but the fact that he was high and brought up his ex within 5 minutes was just too much. I was happy when someone else told him to shush and I could finally watch the movie in peace. Luckily, the only time he opened his mouth during the rest of the movie was to sing along to "Who Let the Dogs Out" (ugh) or to laugh obnoxiously at the least funny parts.
Once the movie ended, I figured we would just leave the same way we came (in our separate cabs) and never talk again. Sadly, he insisted he walk me home as he wanted to get to know me better. I tried a few tactics to get out of this but he had a response to them all. In the end I figured I had nowhere to go and might as well let him walk me back to my apartment. As probably expected, his idea of "getting to know me better" was actually him going into more details about his breakup, and most notably, bashing his ex in the grossest way possible.
Finally we arrived at my apartment and he stresses that he must come inside because he "has to use my bathroom." Oldest trick in the book! I'm sorry dude, but you really think you're getting some after this horrendous date?? I told him no, but he was very persistent. I gave in and let him inside but did not leave the kitchen area. He used the bathroom and once he came back he asked for a tour of the apartment. I told him, "This is the kitchen, you can't see my room." At some point my roommate came into the kitchen and I gave her the sort of look that says, "If you leave the room I will kill you." Eventually he got the point and made his way out of the apartment. We had an awkward hug while I successfully avoided his kiss (really!?).
He told me at this point that he was going away for two months to football camp (yay!) and will take me out to dinner when he gets back. I mumbled some sort of agreeable whatever and tried to push him out the door, relieved the date was finally over.
Two months later he's apparently back in town and I get a text while I'm walking down the street: "Are you wearing a white shirt?" I look around and don't see anyone. Creepy!
For anyone who knows the story, runner up worst date ever was with Jason AKA Teeth at the Cheesecake Factory. Another story for another time.
*Now, I'm an equal opportunity girl, so I never expect a guy to pay for me. I do appreciate an offer to pay, but then again I don't really care if you take my money or not. I expected this guy to at least offer to pay me back for his own ticket after all his bitching, but no such luck for me. There goes 10 bucks.
I don't usually like movie dates, but he suggested it and I was just along for the ride. As we lived on opposite sides of town we decided to meet at the theater a little while before the start time. Since I value my own and others' time, I showed up at the theater about 20 minutes beforehand, just like we planned. As soon as I arrived I received an angry text from him that said something like "this mothaf-ing cab is late...I'll be there soon". Pretty soon to be throwing Mother F bombs down, but whatever. I waited until about 5 minutes before the movie was starting and decided to buy us the tickets.* I texted him to let him know I bought the tickets and where to meet me. He responded furiously that I shouldn't have bought the tickets and that this wasn't his fault. Blah blah. Whatever. About 1 minute before the movie started he showed up looking distraught and loudly cursed out the cab company before even saying hello to me. I immediately started nervous laughing and just tried to get him to shut up and hurry into the theater.
We found seats quickly and his mood seemed to brighten up during the previews. You'd think it's universally known that once the lights dim, you stop talking. But I guess this guy had things he really needed to say because as the movie started, he began to tell me that his ex girlfriend is pissed at him because he was smoking pot all day. In fact, he was high now! Why WOULDN'T he be high for The Hangover?
He goes on to loudly tell me that he still lives with his girlfriend and that they still have "something" going on. Great! Freakin' college athletes man, think the can do whatever they want!
So, now I'm not only embarrassed that this guy is talking to me during the movie, but the fact that he was high and brought up his ex within 5 minutes was just too much. I was happy when someone else told him to shush and I could finally watch the movie in peace. Luckily, the only time he opened his mouth during the rest of the movie was to sing along to "Who Let the Dogs Out" (ugh) or to laugh obnoxiously at the least funny parts.
Once the movie ended, I figured we would just leave the same way we came (in our separate cabs) and never talk again. Sadly, he insisted he walk me home as he wanted to get to know me better. I tried a few tactics to get out of this but he had a response to them all. In the end I figured I had nowhere to go and might as well let him walk me back to my apartment. As probably expected, his idea of "getting to know me better" was actually him going into more details about his breakup, and most notably, bashing his ex in the grossest way possible.
Finally we arrived at my apartment and he stresses that he must come inside because he "has to use my bathroom." Oldest trick in the book! I'm sorry dude, but you really think you're getting some after this horrendous date?? I told him no, but he was very persistent. I gave in and let him inside but did not leave the kitchen area. He used the bathroom and once he came back he asked for a tour of the apartment. I told him, "This is the kitchen, you can't see my room." At some point my roommate came into the kitchen and I gave her the sort of look that says, "If you leave the room I will kill you." Eventually he got the point and made his way out of the apartment. We had an awkward hug while I successfully avoided his kiss (really!?).
He told me at this point that he was going away for two months to football camp (yay!) and will take me out to dinner when he gets back. I mumbled some sort of agreeable whatever and tried to push him out the door, relieved the date was finally over.
Two months later he's apparently back in town and I get a text while I'm walking down the street: "Are you wearing a white shirt?" I look around and don't see anyone. Creepy!
For anyone who knows the story, runner up worst date ever was with Jason AKA Teeth at the Cheesecake Factory. Another story for another time.
*Now, I'm an equal opportunity girl, so I never expect a guy to pay for me. I do appreciate an offer to pay, but then again I don't really care if you take my money or not. I expected this guy to at least offer to pay me back for his own ticket after all his bitching, but no such luck for me. There goes 10 bucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment