At his funeral I managed to read through a eulogy I wrote for my dad. While his death still came as a major shock to me, the long days spent at his side during hospice allowed time to reflect without interruption. These words provided a space for me to express my gratitude - to thank him for all of the love he gave me and lessons he taught me. I'm not sure why I am choosing to post them here today. Maybe I just want to memorialize him, to etch these words into my memory, and to make sure not a day goes by where I don't thank him for the life he gave me.
For my dad:
People have always told me that I reminded them of my dad, maybe it was our matching glasses. As a young girl growing up that's not always what you want to hear, but today I feel proud knowing that I truly am my father's daughter.
I didn't know my dad when he was a teacher, but he was my teacher of all things. And he taught in the best way possible - by example.
My dad taught me about commitment – his family came first, no matter what. My dad would do anything for me, my mom and my sisters. He worked in Manhattan for over 30 years, commuting back and forth each day so he could give us everything that we ever wanted. And then he spent his weekends with his girls, in the backyard, at our sports events, driving us to and from places with our friends, bringing me back and forth to college. The tenderness and kindness he showed everyone in my family, especially my grandparents, is something I will never forget.
My dad taught me to listen to good music. When I was just seven years old he brought me to my very first Allman Brothers concert. I can still recall the the sticky floor of the Beacon Theater and laughing as he tried to put tiny earplugs in my ears when the music got too loud. Somehow over the music, I fell asleep in his arms before the show was over. Music was something my dad and I bonded over until the very end. A lot of people think my dad only listened to rock n’ roll, but he was truly a lover of all music. One time in high school my dad dropped me off at a pop concert at Jones Beach. About a half hour later my friend looked up at me and said “isn’t that your dad over there?” He had bought himself a single ticket for the show and was standing alone swaying to the music with a huge smile on his face. Some might think he was there to keep an eye on me, but I know it was really because he just wanted to be around music.
My dad taught me to spend my money on experiences. I can’t keep track of the amount of trips we took as a family, to Disney World, the Bahamas, the Poconos, Jamaica, Atlantic City and even the Olympics in ’96 in Atlanta.
He taught me to be a saver - never go to the store without looking for a coupon first.
He taught me that sometimes it’s worth taking the long way. My dad used to drive us crazy on road trips. He always wanted to take the scenic route. I think he did want to see more of the sights, but I really just think he enjoyed his time with us so much. He never wanted our trips to end.
My dad taught me the meaning of loyalty. His faithfulness to the important people in his life can be seen in his marriage and the way he’s maintained ties with his childhood friends. His loyalty to my mom and his friends of over 50 years has been a model I’ve tried to replicate in my own life.
He taught me about patience. My dad’s patience was limitless. I guess that’s something you have to develop when you live in a house with 4 women.
And my dad taught me about strength. From all that I have seen dad go through, and the positivity and optimism that remained in him even through the hardest times, I now know the true meaning of strength.
They call the stages of Alzheimer's the long goodbye - and it has been a long journey for us . Throughout the last few years i tried to embody my father by embracing each moment with him. Over the last few years we shared so many special times - we went to the Hamptons, we went to our favorite restaurants and ate lobster, we saw the Yankees beat the Blue Jays and watched Rangers games. We listened to SO much music and played hours upon hours of rock n roll trivia. We watched my sister get married and my dad became an adoring grandpa. We went for long drives where we talked about life and death and love and sometimes nothing at all. We simply savored the moments we had together and despite how hard they were at times. I will forever treasure these last few years with him.
My dad was the kindest, gentlest, and most generous man I have ever known. He loved us unconditionally and me and my sisters were his proudest achievement. I am forever grateful that he instilled such a strong and stable sense in my life.
So thank you dad - for your humor, your compassion, your understanding, your patience and above all else, your love.
I didn't know my dad when he was a teacher, but he was my teacher of all things. And he taught in the best way possible - by example.
My dad taught me about commitment – his family came first, no matter what. My dad would do anything for me, my mom and my sisters. He worked in Manhattan for over 30 years, commuting back and forth each day so he could give us everything that we ever wanted. And then he spent his weekends with his girls, in the backyard, at our sports events, driving us to and from places with our friends, bringing me back and forth to college. The tenderness and kindness he showed everyone in my family, especially my grandparents, is something I will never forget.
My dad taught me to listen to good music. When I was just seven years old he brought me to my very first Allman Brothers concert. I can still recall the the sticky floor of the Beacon Theater and laughing as he tried to put tiny earplugs in my ears when the music got too loud. Somehow over the music, I fell asleep in his arms before the show was over. Music was something my dad and I bonded over until the very end. A lot of people think my dad only listened to rock n’ roll, but he was truly a lover of all music. One time in high school my dad dropped me off at a pop concert at Jones Beach. About a half hour later my friend looked up at me and said “isn’t that your dad over there?” He had bought himself a single ticket for the show and was standing alone swaying to the music with a huge smile on his face. Some might think he was there to keep an eye on me, but I know it was really because he just wanted to be around music.
My dad taught me to spend my money on experiences. I can’t keep track of the amount of trips we took as a family, to Disney World, the Bahamas, the Poconos, Jamaica, Atlantic City and even the Olympics in ’96 in Atlanta.
He taught me to be a saver - never go to the store without looking for a coupon first.
He taught me that sometimes it’s worth taking the long way. My dad used to drive us crazy on road trips. He always wanted to take the scenic route. I think he did want to see more of the sights, but I really just think he enjoyed his time with us so much. He never wanted our trips to end.
My dad taught me the meaning of loyalty. His faithfulness to the important people in his life can be seen in his marriage and the way he’s maintained ties with his childhood friends. His loyalty to my mom and his friends of over 50 years has been a model I’ve tried to replicate in my own life.
He taught me about patience. My dad’s patience was limitless. I guess that’s something you have to develop when you live in a house with 4 women.
And my dad taught me about strength. From all that I have seen dad go through, and the positivity and optimism that remained in him even through the hardest times, I now know the true meaning of strength.
They call the stages of Alzheimer's the long goodbye - and it has been a long journey for us . Throughout the last few years i tried to embody my father by embracing each moment with him. Over the last few years we shared so many special times - we went to the Hamptons, we went to our favorite restaurants and ate lobster, we saw the Yankees beat the Blue Jays and watched Rangers games. We listened to SO much music and played hours upon hours of rock n roll trivia. We watched my sister get married and my dad became an adoring grandpa. We went for long drives where we talked about life and death and love and sometimes nothing at all. We simply savored the moments we had together and despite how hard they were at times. I will forever treasure these last few years with him.
My dad was the kindest, gentlest, and most generous man I have ever known. He loved us unconditionally and me and my sisters were his proudest achievement. I am forever grateful that he instilled such a strong and stable sense in my life.
So thank you dad - for your humor, your compassion, your understanding, your patience and above all else, your love.
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