Thoughts on Balance

So. My apologies for the dramatics last night.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this struggle after I published the post. I really felt like I needed to do some re-evaluation. What it all comes down to for me is balance and how to find it and LIVE it. Isn't that what this blog was about in the first place -- finding balance and self acceptance? Since I started this blog I've done really well with the self acceptance side. After a lot of work and help I feel like a completely different person mentally than I did 2 or 3 years ago. The progress I've made is really pretty unbelievable.

Now for balance. Have I made any progress there? I think so. I'm not sure. For my birthday I wanted to buy myself BOTH a pasta making class and personal training sessions. Is that balance? Or is that just crazy? I have very strong hobbies (hobbies? is that even the right word) that revolve around food and fitness. I am actually one of those people who enjoys exercise. Most of the time I enjoy going to the gym, I love group fitness classes, I love hiking and anything outdoors. I truly enjoy learning about nutrition, trying to fit nutrients into meals and love eating fruits, vegetables etc. etc. I could read health and fitness blogs and magazines all day if I was able to, and sometimes I think I may have traveled down the wrong career path, but that's a whole other issue. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I LOVE going out to new restaurants and eating big meals way more than the average person. As much as I enjoy cooking sometimes I would rather eat out every day, and probably would if I had the funds and metabolism to support it. There's nothing like a huge bowl of homemade pasta piled with shellfish and spicy sauce. I love trying new foods and want to try everything out there. I love the whole atmosphere of restaurants.

So where's the balance here? I don't think I've got it down quite yet. It seems I usually go through periods on the healthy side of the spectrum and then periods on the crazy foodie side. How can I have both of these things and lose weight? Is that even possible? Probably not.

Wow I am really rambling now.

Enough analyzing for now. I managed to wake myself up and go for a 3 mile run this morning. I pressed the snooze button 3+ times and it definitely wasn't the best run I've had, but it was something. It was a small step and a POSITIVE reaction to last night's meltdown. I packed some tote bags to bring to the grocery store later and have been looking up some new recipes to get myself excited. Time for action.