I'm happy to say I'm back on the exercise wagon and it feels awesome. Gym classes are seriously motivating. And luckily I usually get home from work after the window of time where I can cancel out of the class...so I have no choice but going. Because of scheduling I've only been able to take strength classes so far and surprisingly have been loving it. It feels AMAZING to be sweating and breathing hard and I'm even enjoying (??) the soreness in my muscles. Last night I took a cardio-sculpt class. The cardio kicked my butt butt the sculpting was pretty easy. I think the instructor was concerned about newbies so she took it petty easy. Tonight is Total Body Sculpt and this KILLED me last Friday. I was sore until Tuesday! Hopefully I will feel slightly better this time?
My friend from home is coming to visit this weekend and I'm super excited! Tomorrow is the Great Boston Beer Marathon so the day is bound to be full of lots of drinking (duh). I'm hoping that tonight will be a quiet night so I can rest up for tomorrow!
I realize that this I have totally neglected this blog of the "love" parts of my life, but it's difficult for me to write about. I'm currently having a tough time figuring out what I want in a partner. I think I know what I don't want, but am worried that I'll never find the perfect combination of characteristics for me. It seems that every guy I meet has a few things that I really like, and then a few that I really don't. Am I being too picky or should I keep looking? Why can't I just combine their traits and make my perfect guy!? Anyway, that's as far as I'm going into this on the blog...for now I'm keeping most of my thoughts in my head :)
HAPPY FRIDAY!!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Case of the Mondays
I'm trying really hard to get my act together today but am having some trouble. I had a pretty wild weekend and simply can't recover from the lack of sleep.
On Friday I finally made it back to group fitness classes! I took total body sculpt and I'm still feeling it 3 days later. The class was amazing though and I'm so excited to go continuously. It felt really great to be back in the gym and sweating and moving around. I haven't done that in a while! Unfortunately that's all the exercise i got over the weekend (besides an hour long walk on Saturday morning) but that's okay. That night I went to a club to celebrate a friend's birthday. It was a fun night but I spent way too much money. I've been getting really nervous about my recent spending habits now that I'm supporting myself. My salary isn't exactly high and I'm going to have to pay 3/4 months rent when I move into a new apartment. Who knows how I'm going to do that...
On Saturday I went to go look at an apartment then headed over to a ltitle town outside of Boston to watch a Gaelic football game. It was a very interesting, but fun!, day. Yesterday was a lazy day and all I did was go food shopping and hang out with friends. I meant to go to bed early but ended up watching a movie called "HappyThankyouMorePlease." The movie was sooo good and I ended up staying awake till 2 am watching it. So now I'm paying! I have to take a walk over to the bank in a little while so I'm hoping being outside and walking around will wake me up a bit.
Tonight I'm going to look at another apartment. I'm so sick of it. Gahhhh...happy Monday?
On Friday I finally made it back to group fitness classes! I took total body sculpt and I'm still feeling it 3 days later. The class was amazing though and I'm so excited to go continuously. It felt really great to be back in the gym and sweating and moving around. I haven't done that in a while! Unfortunately that's all the exercise i got over the weekend (besides an hour long walk on Saturday morning) but that's okay. That night I went to a club to celebrate a friend's birthday. It was a fun night but I spent way too much money. I've been getting really nervous about my recent spending habits now that I'm supporting myself. My salary isn't exactly high and I'm going to have to pay 3/4 months rent when I move into a new apartment. Who knows how I'm going to do that...
On Saturday I went to go look at an apartment then headed over to a ltitle town outside of Boston to watch a Gaelic football game. It was a very interesting, but fun!, day. Yesterday was a lazy day and all I did was go food shopping and hang out with friends. I meant to go to bed early but ended up watching a movie called "HappyThankyouMorePlease." The movie was sooo good and I ended up staying awake till 2 am watching it. So now I'm paying! I have to take a walk over to the bank in a little while so I'm hoping being outside and walking around will wake me up a bit.
Tonight I'm going to look at another apartment. I'm so sick of it. Gahhhh...happy Monday?
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Half way through 2011
Howwwwwww are we half way through 2011?? I can distinctly remember sending annoying emails out to my friends about what we should do for New Years eve. Crazy.
It's been a while since I've updated so I'll give a brief synposis of the last 1.5 months. I ended up getting a job in Boston and moved back here the first week of June. I love the job but it was tough getting back into the swing of things. I was semi-homeless for a while but am now comfortable settled into my room. While in NY, I surprised myself (well, not really) by calling Jonas and setting up a lunch date. Meeting up with him spurred a range of emotions in me. I was very upset for a few days following but am doing greater than I could have imagined now. So that's all I'm gonna say about that!
As for food and fitness, boy am I out of it. I couldn't go food shopping for the first few weeks back in Boston because of lack of fridge/cabinet space so I was eating whatever was available and wasting a ton of money. I'm getting slightly back into it now but am finding myself trapped in the healthy Monday-Friday dinner and then go crazy Friday night- Sunday. I'm not too worried about it though. I also haven't worked out at all. I really can't help but smile when I write that. I have taken a loooong break and am ready to hit the gym again! I signed up for group fitness classes for the summer and can't wait for them to start. No zumba though :(
So I like the idea of reflecting on the past 6 months so here goes:
1. I went on spring break in Florida
2. I trained for and ran a half marathon! (3/20/11)
3. I graduated from college! (5/7/11)
4. I spent a month in NY doing nothing :)
5. I let go of a lot of anger
6. I got an awesome job!
7. I moved back to Boston
8. I rekindled (and attempted to rekindle) some fading friendships
Hmm that list is pretty short, but there are definitely some things to be proud of in there! Looks like I'm going to be busy the next 6 months... Happy 2011.5!
It's been a while since I've updated so I'll give a brief synposis of the last 1.5 months. I ended up getting a job in Boston and moved back here the first week of June. I love the job but it was tough getting back into the swing of things. I was semi-homeless for a while but am now comfortable settled into my room. While in NY, I surprised myself (well, not really) by calling Jonas and setting up a lunch date. Meeting up with him spurred a range of emotions in me. I was very upset for a few days following but am doing greater than I could have imagined now. So that's all I'm gonna say about that!
As for food and fitness, boy am I out of it. I couldn't go food shopping for the first few weeks back in Boston because of lack of fridge/cabinet space so I was eating whatever was available and wasting a ton of money. I'm getting slightly back into it now but am finding myself trapped in the healthy Monday-Friday dinner and then go crazy Friday night- Sunday. I'm not too worried about it though. I also haven't worked out at all. I really can't help but smile when I write that. I have taken a loooong break and am ready to hit the gym again! I signed up for group fitness classes for the summer and can't wait for them to start. No zumba though :(
So I like the idea of reflecting on the past 6 months so here goes:
1. I went on spring break in Florida
2. I trained for and ran a half marathon! (3/20/11)
3. I graduated from college! (5/7/11)
4. I spent a month in NY doing nothing :)
5. I let go of a lot of anger
6. I got an awesome job!
7. I moved back to Boston
8. I rekindled (and attempted to rekindle) some fading friendships
Hmm that list is pretty short, but there are definitely some things to be proud of in there! Looks like I'm going to be busy the next 6 months... Happy 2011.5!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Good News!
Lots of good news for this post!!
Today was my first weigh in for weight watchers and I lost two pounds! I'm kind of surprised because I spent 3 days in NYC and ate out every meal! I also only worked out once (why oh why can I not get my exercise mojo back??) but I guess I was making good decisions after all!
I also tried my very first green monster smoothie this week and now want to drink them every day. This was SOOO good and as a non-coffee drinker it felt great to get a bit of energy in the morning. I put 1/2 cup of almond milk, 2 handfuls of spinach, 4 frozen strawberries (froze myself), half a banana, 1 tbs of natural peanut butter, 1 tbs of chia seeds, a few ice cubes and cinnamon into a blender and mixed away! Just typing that makes me feel healthy haha! I'm looking intro purchasing my own blender to bring back to Boston because I can imagine this smoothie becoming a big part of my summer!
Green Monster!
And yes, I did say back to Boston! I got offered a job! An amazing job in fact, and I'm starting in just two weeks. I was a little scared of the start date, but figured that it wasn't worth giving up a great job for. The job is exactly what I was looking for and I think will be a really great experience for me :)
Like I said this week was tougher than expected when it came to eating. On Sunday I went to my cousin's law school graduation and we had a "light dinner" afterward which consisted of lots of fried appetizers. I was really hungry and ate more than I wanted but figured those 49 extra weekly points had to be used up somewhere.
Me, my cousin and my sister
I ended up spending the next few days in NYC with my sister and got to try some amazing food! The biggest highlight was definitely this spread below:
Yes, that was ALL for me! It was soooo good though and I can't stop thinking about it. On the big red plate is a quinoa salad with apricots, cranberries and yams. I also got some housemade hummus and pita and they brought some olives over to the table. Everything was so fresh and although I wanted to scarf down every bite I managed to wrap half of it up.
While in NYC I also got sushi, some interesting grilled cheeses, a few amazing tacos and corn, frozen yogurt, and a fresh salad. I wish there were more make your own salad places in Boston. I also made sure to stop into a little shop called "Pickles & Olives" aka my dream come true. I am obsessed with pickles and almost died when I walked in and saw all these barrels lined up.
I had a great week and am just going to try to soak up the rest of my time at home before I have to head back to the Bean. I've been toying with the idea of getting in touch with Jonas before I leave and can't decide if that would be a good or bad idea. I think I need to just stop asking for advice because no one is going to make this decision for me. I just can't figure out what is best for me and what will bring me the most peace. I don't want to just "follow my heart" because I need to make a smart decision. Either way I know that in the end I will be fine and that I'm about to start a new, exciting chapter in my life. That's all for now...
Today was my first weigh in for weight watchers and I lost two pounds! I'm kind of surprised because I spent 3 days in NYC and ate out every meal! I also only worked out once (why oh why can I not get my exercise mojo back??) but I guess I was making good decisions after all!
I also tried my very first green monster smoothie this week and now want to drink them every day. This was SOOO good and as a non-coffee drinker it felt great to get a bit of energy in the morning. I put 1/2 cup of almond milk, 2 handfuls of spinach, 4 frozen strawberries (froze myself), half a banana, 1 tbs of natural peanut butter, 1 tbs of chia seeds, a few ice cubes and cinnamon into a blender and mixed away! Just typing that makes me feel healthy haha! I'm looking intro purchasing my own blender to bring back to Boston because I can imagine this smoothie becoming a big part of my summer!
Green Monster!And yes, I did say back to Boston! I got offered a job! An amazing job in fact, and I'm starting in just two weeks. I was a little scared of the start date, but figured that it wasn't worth giving up a great job for. The job is exactly what I was looking for and I think will be a really great experience for me :)
Like I said this week was tougher than expected when it came to eating. On Sunday I went to my cousin's law school graduation and we had a "light dinner" afterward which consisted of lots of fried appetizers. I was really hungry and ate more than I wanted but figured those 49 extra weekly points had to be used up somewhere.
Me, my cousin and my sisterI ended up spending the next few days in NYC with my sister and got to try some amazing food! The biggest highlight was definitely this spread below:
Yes, that was ALL for me! It was soooo good though and I can't stop thinking about it. On the big red plate is a quinoa salad with apricots, cranberries and yams. I also got some housemade hummus and pita and they brought some olives over to the table. Everything was so fresh and although I wanted to scarf down every bite I managed to wrap half of it up.While in NYC I also got sushi, some interesting grilled cheeses, a few amazing tacos and corn, frozen yogurt, and a fresh salad. I wish there were more make your own salad places in Boston. I also made sure to stop into a little shop called "Pickles & Olives" aka my dream come true. I am obsessed with pickles and almost died when I walked in and saw all these barrels lined up.
I had a great week and am just going to try to soak up the rest of my time at home before I have to head back to the Bean. I've been toying with the idea of getting in touch with Jonas before I leave and can't decide if that would be a good or bad idea. I think I need to just stop asking for advice because no one is going to make this decision for me. I just can't figure out what is best for me and what will bring me the most peace. I don't want to just "follow my heart" because I need to make a smart decision. Either way I know that in the end I will be fine and that I'm about to start a new, exciting chapter in my life. That's all for now...
Friday, May 20, 2011
Day 2 and a Family Dinner
I really suck at coming up with titles.
Day 2 on WW was great...although it's not exactly over because I'm about to go get some frozen yogurt. I just wanted to give a quick update on this awesome dinner I made for my family tonight. I based this dinner off of a recipe I found on the WW online database.
Ziti with Chicken and Vegetables
I basically mixed together grilled chicken, pasta, and lots of veggies (artichokes, roasted red peppers, mushrooms, spinach all cooked in garlic) and cooked them in a sauce made with white wine and chicken stock thickened with parmasean cheese and parsley. This dinner was sooo good and I think it was a hit with the whole family! There was definitely a good amount of prep (lots of veggie chopping etc.) but it was worth it. I'm so happy to be back to cooking again because I was taking quite the hiatus from the kitchen. It definitely is more tough cooking for 4 people than 1 though. Everyone likes different foods/tastes/portions and it's hard to figure out the amount I'll need for multiple people instead of just making one serving of everything. I guess this is good practice for when I have a family of my own.
My exercise has been lacking so tomorrow I'm going to make sure I get something in! If it's nice out I'll go for a run and if not I'll do a workout video. I gotta get moving!
Day 2 on WW was great...although it's not exactly over because I'm about to go get some frozen yogurt. I just wanted to give a quick update on this awesome dinner I made for my family tonight. I based this dinner off of a recipe I found on the WW online database.
Ziti with Chicken and Vegetables
I basically mixed together grilled chicken, pasta, and lots of veggies (artichokes, roasted red peppers, mushrooms, spinach all cooked in garlic) and cooked them in a sauce made with white wine and chicken stock thickened with parmasean cheese and parsley. This dinner was sooo good and I think it was a hit with the whole family! There was definitely a good amount of prep (lots of veggie chopping etc.) but it was worth it. I'm so happy to be back to cooking again because I was taking quite the hiatus from the kitchen. It definitely is more tough cooking for 4 people than 1 though. Everyone likes different foods/tastes/portions and it's hard to figure out the amount I'll need for multiple people instead of just making one serving of everything. I guess this is good practice for when I have a family of my own.My exercise has been lacking so tomorrow I'm going to make sure I get something in! If it's nice out I'll go for a run and if not I'll do a workout video. I gotta get moving!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Sorry I'm Not Sorry
The past week has been pretty crazy. It's funny how I was complaining and complaining that I was so bored, and then suddenly, I just wasn't. On Friday night I hung out with an old friend who happened to be driving to Connecticut the next morning around the same time I planned to go for a graduation party. We left the next morning and I arrived in Fairfield for some fun, friends and lots of food and drinks. Even though it had only been a week since I left college it felt amazing to see my friends from school again. I just feel so comfortable with them and I'm so happy with the little family I've created for myself in Boston. It's just another reminder that I made the right decision in applying to jobs only in Boston. That's where I want to be right now in my life and I can't feel guilty for that.
After the grad party a few of my friends ended up coming back to New York with me for a few days. It was great to have people around and to be able to show two of my best friends my home. I basically took them on an eating tour of Long Island which included an Italian/seafood dinner, pizza, deli subs, etc. We didn't get a chance for any bagels though! Next time I guess :) My family also threw me an amazing graduation dinner at a really wonderful Italian restaurant. It was so nice to see my family again and eat amazing Italian food...plus I had some cool cocktails (watermelon and french martini anyone??!).
So as I've alluded to for the past month and a half or so, my eating and exercise has spun out of control. I pretty much gave up on any attempt to eat healthy or work out during the last few weeks of school and being home has proved to be much more difficult than expected. There is just SO much food in my house. I have found myself constantly bored and therefore always thinking about food. When I live on my own I don't surround myself with snacks or what I used to call "trigger foods" (chips, string cheese etc.) but I can't control that now that I live with my family. It's unfair for me to restrict certain foods in my house just because I have no self control!
So last night I made a decision. I decided to join Weight Watchers. After much research of the new points plus program and discussion with friends I know who are on Weight Watchers, I decided to dedicate myself to 2 months of following the program. Worst case scenario: I hover around this weight and lose $80. I'd take that any day over continuing this steady weight gain.
I don't know why I feel the need to keep justifying this decision and this is going to be the last time I do it. I feel like I shouldn't need weight watchers because I've spent the last 2 years slowly losing weight without a diet plan. I have learned everything I possibly could about nutrition and am fully aware that this is simply a matter of boredom and lack of willpower. It's not that I no longer understand how to eat healthy, exercise, or treat my body well; it's simply that I no longer feel the drive and motivation that I used to.
I always commend people on asking for help, so I should treat myself with the same benevolence. Joining Weight Watchers is my way of asking for help in this. I need to surround myself with people who are on a similar journey, and unfortunately for at least the time being I need a structured way to track my food until I feel comfortable again. I used to disagree pretty heavily with Weight Watchers' program but the new points plus is an extreme improvement. What I'm hoping is that I'll be able to reignite my healthy eating flame by following a program that is very similar to how I was eating in the first place. So that's my justification. I'm not perfect, I need help with this, and sorry I'm not sorry!
So today was my first official day on WW. The damage wasn't as bad as I thought...I gained 6.4 lbs since I had last weighed myself before I became an eating tornado. I enjoyed the meeting and had a great first day. I love the new program, I already feel better, and I'm excited! Day 1 = success.
Back to
After the grad party a few of my friends ended up coming back to New York with me for a few days. It was great to have people around and to be able to show two of my best friends my home. I basically took them on an eating tour of Long Island which included an Italian/seafood dinner, pizza, deli subs, etc. We didn't get a chance for any bagels though! Next time I guess :) My family also threw me an amazing graduation dinner at a really wonderful Italian restaurant. It was so nice to see my family again and eat amazing Italian food...plus I had some cool cocktails (watermelon and french martini anyone??!).
So as I've alluded to for the past month and a half or so, my eating and exercise has spun out of control. I pretty much gave up on any attempt to eat healthy or work out during the last few weeks of school and being home has proved to be much more difficult than expected. There is just SO much food in my house. I have found myself constantly bored and therefore always thinking about food. When I live on my own I don't surround myself with snacks or what I used to call "trigger foods" (chips, string cheese etc.) but I can't control that now that I live with my family. It's unfair for me to restrict certain foods in my house just because I have no self control!
So last night I made a decision. I decided to join Weight Watchers. After much research of the new points plus program and discussion with friends I know who are on Weight Watchers, I decided to dedicate myself to 2 months of following the program. Worst case scenario: I hover around this weight and lose $80. I'd take that any day over continuing this steady weight gain.
I don't know why I feel the need to keep justifying this decision and this is going to be the last time I do it. I feel like I shouldn't need weight watchers because I've spent the last 2 years slowly losing weight without a diet plan. I have learned everything I possibly could about nutrition and am fully aware that this is simply a matter of boredom and lack of willpower. It's not that I no longer understand how to eat healthy, exercise, or treat my body well; it's simply that I no longer feel the drive and motivation that I used to.
I always commend people on asking for help, so I should treat myself with the same benevolence. Joining Weight Watchers is my way of asking for help in this. I need to surround myself with people who are on a similar journey, and unfortunately for at least the time being I need a structured way to track my food until I feel comfortable again. I used to disagree pretty heavily with Weight Watchers' program but the new points plus is an extreme improvement. What I'm hoping is that I'll be able to reignite my healthy eating flame by following a program that is very similar to how I was eating in the first place. So that's my justification. I'm not perfect, I need help with this, and sorry I'm not sorry!
So today was my first official day on WW. The damage wasn't as bad as I thought...I gained 6.4 lbs since I had last weighed myself before I became an eating tornado. I enjoyed the meeting and had a great first day. I love the new program, I already feel better, and I'm excited! Day 1 = success.
Back to
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Graduate
Wow it's been almost a month since I've updated this thing. Unfortunately this is not going to be that great of an update because it's almost 12:30 and I am le tired. Here's a little of what's been going on with me in the past month...
1. I have done VERY little working out...in fact I think this may be the least I've exercised in about 3 years. Eek.
2. I have been eating like a pig. I didn't go food shopping for the last month of school because it felt like people were always wanting to eat out and I didn't want to miss anything. As a result I've put on a few pounds...
3. I graduated from college!!!!
4. I moved back to NY for an unknown amount of time.
So today I decided to dig up my dusty sneakers and attempt to run. It's pretty hard to believe that just a month and a half ago I ran 13 miles without stopping. Today I huffed and puffed my way through 2.5 miles before calling it quits and walking another mile or so. I probably could have kept running but I know myself too well -- if I wear myself out too early I'll just stop. So who cares that I could only run 2.5 miles? I'm sure no one but me! Anyway, I'm happy to be getting back on the exercise wagon. I've been feeling sluggish and tired alll the time and I'm sure my lack of exercise is playing a huge part in it (and the tons of booze and food I've been consuming the past month...)
Being home is nice but the boredom is already starting to hit me. My family and friends are all either working or in school so there's not much to do until 6 PM when my mom comes home. I'm really trying to just enjoy this time I have off but it's tough when all I do is sit in a house full of food. I'm going to try to make somewhat of a plan for tomorrow...
- Wake up
- Eat a small breakfast
- Do day 1 of p90x! (yes, i have illegally downloaded p90x onto my computer and plan to loosely follow it just to attempt to get some weight lifting and varied cardio back into my life without a gym)
- Do a very short run (1 mile?) depending on how i feel after p90x
- Shower
- Eat lunch
- Lay outside and read 1 of the new library books I picked up
- Apply for a job or two
- Go to Target and spend my gift card from Christmas (haha)
- Hopefully it will be 6:00 and Mom will be home to make dinner with and hang out with me :)
Sounds like a fabulous day to me. I'm having a lot of trouble with my eating lately and am going to dedicate a whole post to it very soon...like tomorrow. Maybe I should add it to the list?
This post is getting rather rambly but I just want to leave with one note that I'm pretty proud of: Coming home always brings up a lot of Jonas related emotions, especially this time because there is no real end in sight to my time at home. The thoughts of running into him and the questions of whether I want to see him or not are constantly on my mind. Anyway, tonight while downloading p90x I realized I needed to delete some stuff from my computer in order to make room. In going through my files I came across some videos that Jonas had made for me...mostly of him making goofy faces etc. It was hard, but I decided to delete the videos in order to make space. The fact that I deleted videos that make me feel pain and sadness in order to make space for something that will inevitably make me feel healthier, stronger, and more confident makes me feel incredibly proud of myself and is rather symbolic of how far I've come since this breakup. I still have tons of letter and photos of Jonas on my computer but deleting these videos to make room for something better was a small, but significant step for me.
So that's that. Time for the hilarity that is 30 Rock and bed. Good night!
1. I have done VERY little working out...in fact I think this may be the least I've exercised in about 3 years. Eek.
2. I have been eating like a pig. I didn't go food shopping for the last month of school because it felt like people were always wanting to eat out and I didn't want to miss anything. As a result I've put on a few pounds...
3. I graduated from college!!!!
4. I moved back to NY for an unknown amount of time.
So today I decided to dig up my dusty sneakers and attempt to run. It's pretty hard to believe that just a month and a half ago I ran 13 miles without stopping. Today I huffed and puffed my way through 2.5 miles before calling it quits and walking another mile or so. I probably could have kept running but I know myself too well -- if I wear myself out too early I'll just stop. So who cares that I could only run 2.5 miles? I'm sure no one but me! Anyway, I'm happy to be getting back on the exercise wagon. I've been feeling sluggish and tired alll the time and I'm sure my lack of exercise is playing a huge part in it (and the tons of booze and food I've been consuming the past month...)
Being home is nice but the boredom is already starting to hit me. My family and friends are all either working or in school so there's not much to do until 6 PM when my mom comes home. I'm really trying to just enjoy this time I have off but it's tough when all I do is sit in a house full of food. I'm going to try to make somewhat of a plan for tomorrow...
- Wake up
- Eat a small breakfast
- Do day 1 of p90x! (yes, i have illegally downloaded p90x onto my computer and plan to loosely follow it just to attempt to get some weight lifting and varied cardio back into my life without a gym)
- Do a very short run (1 mile?) depending on how i feel after p90x
- Shower
- Eat lunch
- Lay outside and read 1 of the new library books I picked up
- Apply for a job or two
- Go to Target and spend my gift card from Christmas (haha)
- Hopefully it will be 6:00 and Mom will be home to make dinner with and hang out with me :)
Sounds like a fabulous day to me. I'm having a lot of trouble with my eating lately and am going to dedicate a whole post to it very soon...like tomorrow. Maybe I should add it to the list?
This post is getting rather rambly but I just want to leave with one note that I'm pretty proud of: Coming home always brings up a lot of Jonas related emotions, especially this time because there is no real end in sight to my time at home. The thoughts of running into him and the questions of whether I want to see him or not are constantly on my mind. Anyway, tonight while downloading p90x I realized I needed to delete some stuff from my computer in order to make room. In going through my files I came across some videos that Jonas had made for me...mostly of him making goofy faces etc. It was hard, but I decided to delete the videos in order to make space. The fact that I deleted videos that make me feel pain and sadness in order to make space for something that will inevitably make me feel healthier, stronger, and more confident makes me feel incredibly proud of myself and is rather symbolic of how far I've come since this breakup. I still have tons of letter and photos of Jonas on my computer but deleting these videos to make room for something better was a small, but significant step for me.
So that's that. Time for the hilarity that is 30 Rock and bed. Good night!
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