In order to [potentially] run this half marathon in May, I've been kicking up my running a bit. Since it's been freezing everyday, I've been doing most of my runs on the treadmill, so music is especially important for helping me get through them. Whenever I'm looking for new running music I always look to blogs, so I figured I'd share my current playlist here:
Best I Ever Had - Gavin DeGraw
Heart Attack - Enrique Inglesias
More - Usher
Pompeii (Kat Krazy Remix) - Bastille
Breakn' a Sweat (Zedd Remix) - Skillrex & The Doors
Talk Dirty - Jason Derulo feat. 2 Chainz
Superhero - Cher Lloyd
Katy Perry - Roar
On Our Way - The Royal Concept
Stay the Night - Zedd & Hayley Williams
Scream & Shout - will.i.am, Britney Spears
Timber - Pitbull feat. Kesha
Burn - Ellie Goudling
Can't Remember to Forget You - Shakira, Rihanna
How I Feel - Flo Rida
There are a few on there that I'm getting really sick of (ahem, Timber) but when they play in the middle of a run I don't mind it.
Speaking of running, last night before yoga I got a quick 2 miles in on the treadmill and finished in 22:16! That's almost a minute and a half faster than my 2 mile run last week. I think the 5k I did on Sunday really gave me the confidence boost I've been needing with running. First, it's OKAY to push myself past where I think I can go. If I have to stop, I'll just stop. Second, I'm finally starting to come to terms with being happy and proud of the stage I'm at now, rather than living constantly in the past. I need to accept that this time in my life is very different from when I ran the half in 2011. It took work to get down to a 10 minute/mile pace last time, and it will take even more work this time. On Sunday when I saw my time, my first feeling was of pure happiness, but quickly after I felt the negative thoughts creeping in:
"I guess this is good for now, but it's still not even close to where you were a few years ago. How could you have let yourself fall so far?"
"Who cares about the time, you're going to hate how you look in the race pictures they send you tomorrow."
"This might be good for YOU, but look at how many people finished before you, and how few people finished after you."
and, the kicker:
"You might as well just give up. You will never be a runner."
A few weeks ago I was catching up on The Fitnessista, and something she posted really resonated with me:
"I’ve been pretty low-key with my running lately, and it’s been just what I needed to get back into it. Without the pressure of group training, or to be fast, I was able to make my way back into the game slowly without doing too much too soon. I can do longer distance runs again, and sometimes that means walking half of it, and sometimes it means running the entire thing, depending on how I’m feeling. I stopped asking for so much out of myself, and in return, I was able to give more. I noticed that with self-imposed pressure, I end up coming up short of my lofty expectations. By asking for less, and being patient, I was able to surpass my goal of being able to run 10 miles without pain."
Speaking of running, last night before yoga I got a quick 2 miles in on the treadmill and finished in 22:16! That's almost a minute and a half faster than my 2 mile run last week. I think the 5k I did on Sunday really gave me the confidence boost I've been needing with running. First, it's OKAY to push myself past where I think I can go. If I have to stop, I'll just stop. Second, I'm finally starting to come to terms with being happy and proud of the stage I'm at now, rather than living constantly in the past. I need to accept that this time in my life is very different from when I ran the half in 2011. It took work to get down to a 10 minute/mile pace last time, and it will take even more work this time. On Sunday when I saw my time, my first feeling was of pure happiness, but quickly after I felt the negative thoughts creeping in:
"I guess this is good for now, but it's still not even close to where you were a few years ago. How could you have let yourself fall so far?"
"Who cares about the time, you're going to hate how you look in the race pictures they send you tomorrow."
"This might be good for YOU, but look at how many people finished before you, and how few people finished after you."
and, the kicker:
"You might as well just give up. You will never be a runner."
A few weeks ago I was catching up on The Fitnessista, and something she posted really resonated with me:
"I’ve been pretty low-key with my running lately, and it’s been just what I needed to get back into it. Without the pressure of group training, or to be fast, I was able to make my way back into the game slowly without doing too much too soon. I can do longer distance runs again, and sometimes that means walking half of it, and sometimes it means running the entire thing, depending on how I’m feeling. I stopped asking for so much out of myself, and in return, I was able to give more. I noticed that with self-imposed pressure, I end up coming up short of my lofty expectations. By asking for less, and being patient, I was able to surpass my goal of being able to run 10 miles without pain."
She's so right. I need to stop asking SO much of myself and just be patient with my training. I will get there eventually, and if I don't stop and pat myself on the back for my small achievements, the next few months will be absolute torture. I'm excited to see what happens if I take the pressure off and if I stop comparing my current self to my old self. It's time once and for all to turn off those negative thoughts and just BE in the now. My past should certainly inform my present, but it can't define it.
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